1/ It's not news to me that perception of feedback as criticism or judgment gets in the way of actually working with it effectively, but
15 tweets · July 2017 · 37 likes · 2 retweets · read on Twitter
1/ It's not news to me that perception of feedback as criticism or judgment gets in the way of actually working with it effectively, but
2/ I'm getting a fantastic live example in my own mental system tonight. I'm reading comments from @vgr on my ribbonfarm longform essay, and
@vgr 3/ the valence of the feedback is swinging my mood/perceptions of the post way more than is reasonable: "I'm a genius" ↔ "I'm a fool"
@vgr 4/ These self-judgmental thoughts are clearly failing to parse useful meaning from the comments. They're a sort of fearful flinch response.
@vgr 5/ Could be an identity thing, about how much I'm identified with the post? →solution = keep my identity small? I think it's something else.
@vgr 6/ Another model is like... that parts of me think negative feedback is being said for the purpose of making me feel bad? Feels circular...
@vgr 7/ There's a quote in Passionate Marriage: "Why do you think you shouldn't be having the problems that you're having?" That feels relevant.
@vgr 8/ ie the self-judging part of me seems to think that the correct world state is for my essay to already be perfect, and otherwise = problem
@vgr 9/ but not just "problem"→"problem I shouldnt have" ie "problem that is a problem" Again circular. Not surprising for a kind of insanity tho
@vgr 10/ I think the problem {thing} involves some sort of fixation on the past. Problemy problem is not fixable because it's too late somehow.
@vgr 11/ So this stuck kind of problem isn't a problem-to-solve. It's a problem-to-feel-bad about. Hence shame response.
@vgr 12/ @visakanv has written about how the shame response gets in the way of actually seeing the situation clearly: medium.com/@visakanv/the-…
@vgr @visakanv 13/ Anyway, pragmatically speaking, what cognitive shift do I need to do in order to be able to effectively edit my essay?
@vgr @visakanv 14/ Seems main thing is to focus on: "you have an editor because it was *part of the plan* for the essay to not be perfect yet"
@vgr @visakanv 15/ ofc usually your problem isn't literally part of plan. but it seems a problem-unproblemifying mindset still outperfs a problemifying one