if you're living inside a choice you made half-heartedly, then you're in a state of nonconsent with your life situation
9 tweets · July 2024 · 545 likes · 40 retweets · read on Twitter
if you're living inside a choice you made half-heartedly, then you're in a state of nonconsent with your life situation
this makes accepting the present moment hard because while yes sure it is what it is and you can only change the future... there's a kind of self-violation to accepting the continuation of something you can choose to end, if you don't want it to continue
it's not about whether the present moment is palatable—accepting the present moment while your house is on fire might be readily available: "fuck, this is happening, let's get out of here"—but about whether what's happening is something you fake-agreed to
also it's not about whether a decision you made GOT you here, it's about whether you're still enacting the decision. my first tweet initially said "decision" but "commitment" or "choice" is more accurate here.
like accepting the tattoos you got pressured into when you were younger... well, they're there now, independent of your will whereas accepting the marriage or career you got pressured into when younger, while you're still in it, can end up being tantamount to denial/pretending
in practice there's something very different from accepting the continuation of a situation that completely surprised you, and accepting the continuation of a situation you tried to convince yourself wouldn't happen even though you kinda knew it would (but didn't consent to)
I've been talking on very large scales but this also applies to very small scales 😉
someone DM'd me being like "what do"? my general advice is: allow yourself to re-make the choice tho it can be hard to get enough space (and courage) to do this properly, if it's something where by default you kinda need to keep showing up every day, like a marriage or a job
my impression is that most people aren't in a state of full consent with their life situation. but one can be! (the first draft of the top of this thread had a "most people" claim, but then I decided that was a secondary point)