4 tweets · August 2024 · 93 likes · 6 retweets · read on Twitter
the deeper moral of this story has nothing to do with dating or sexual selection or gendered perspectives the deeper moral of this story is that if someone says something that upsets you, ask them to explain more what they mean before trying to interpret it too much
but also... people sometimes subtly make moves where the only intent they consciously notice is "compliment" but on some other weird level are bids for some agreement of a status differential that sets a power precedent or something
I've done it. not proud of it. it didn't lead anywhere good, and rarely does. mostly traps in that direction. you don't want to have a partnership where you have the upper hand in this way (perhaps unless you're a sociopath).
if it feels like the person might be doing something like that, it's not necessarily doomed. but don't proceed until you've investigated so thoroughly that you're ZERO worried about whether this is the case (and your investigation might yield that it is, or fail to unworry you)
