Does a newborn care how you vibe while bouncing them?

was thinking about this again. I now have my own baby (1yo) and I definitely imagined I would do a bunch of this move but my experience was that the first few months the baby mostly wanted 5 key needs met (food, nappy, sleep, outside, comfy) and cared not for how I vibed

Malcolm Ocean 🏴‍☠️ @Malcolm_Ocean · Jul 15, 2023

me: ...then the 1mo baby was stirring a bit in my arms, so I expanded my ego boundary to include it, and it relaxed ☺️ gf: 😮😍 what prompted you to DO that? me: I mean, the baby wasn't experiencing us as separate beings, and I wasn't about to argue with it on that point 😉

Aug 28, 2025

I even did some experiments: my baby seemed to want to be bounced at a particular frequency, and I tried:  1. bounce + soft/open  2. bounce + tense/hostile  3. still + soft/open  4. still + tense/hostile and 1+2 calmed her, 3+4 didn't 🤷‍♀️ crucial experiment. science. boom 💥

however, being soft/open and/or including my baby in my ego boundary has often been helpful for me figuring OUT what the baby needed. so in that sense the attunement still helps! and now that she's a year old she can actually pick up on my vibe more

this brought to you by @the_wilderless posting about quality of attention.

River Kenna @the_wilderless · Aug 27, 2025

Just to bookmark how strongly your quality of attention matters: When you’re pleasuring someone sexually/sensually — there’s undeniable massive difference when you do it absentmindedly or in a goal-oriented way, Versus when you do it from love, passion, connection, deep

quoting @the_wilderless: @made_in_cosmos Gah I have a Whole Thing about this but haven’t figured out how to talk about it yet, cuz the strongest examples where quality of attention matters & is clear to everyone are explicitly sexual examples, & I… am averse to using those as a starting point but actuall