8 tweets · December 2020 · 45 likes · 0 retweets · read on Twitter
choice is weird I get it re external decisions - choosing to get on the flight or not, to accept a proposal or not, etc but people often talk about choosing things like an attitude, stance, mindset, or relationship to something, and this feels off to me as of a few months ago
mindsets are by nature both internally consistent and self-reinforcing, as is (generally speaking) orienting to people coldly vs warmly and so if conceptually I know growth mindset works better but I keep "choosing" fixed, what gives? (or coercive vs collaborative mindset)
I used to think that the thing to do here was to try to "choose" growth mindset, but I now think that all such things are gaps in understanding. If growth mindset is in fact obviously better, it won't feel like a choice, it'll just feel obvious!
this suggests that if I feel like I have a choice betw these mindsets, then whatever it is that I've actually labelled "choose growth mindset" isn't actually growth mindset but a kind of shell version that isn't better than fixed & maybe even misses some important consideration!
likewise, I know in some pretty deep sense that having my heart open towards people closer to me is generally way more workable than closing it, but sometimes this doesn't feel safe based on various past experiences, and pushing past my own unsafety would undermine my self-trust!
in practice, one may need to act in the world "in the meantime", ie prior to finding perfect internal integration, and in this sense, there is a need for choice. one might choose to be kind, or patient, or something. but don't confuse making a "good" choice with non-doing
❤️🔥
oh, I have a whole blog post about this now: malcolmocean.com/2021/11/mindse…