Signs you're building fake trust with someone

a few signs you're building fake trust with someone: 1. things seem chill a lot of the time but disagreements aren't actually getting resolved/funny 2. you find yourself saying "I know you don't mean/want [what they seem to]" 3. high variance between good & bad times what else?

Jul 15, 2024

1. things seem chill or flowy a lot of the time but tensions aren't actually getting resolved/funny sign of things being swept under the rug

Malcolm Ocean 🏴‍☠️ @Malcolm_Ocean · May 4, 2024

my standard for what it means for a conflict / rupture to be resolved between parties is that they can laugh about it together, easefully, without an edge

2. you find yourself saying "I know you don't mean/want [what they seem to]" ...the fact that you feel you need to say this often says it all. part of you has some sense, and part of you does not trust that sense

QC @QiaochuYuan · Aug 4, 2021

every statement a person makes about themselves, their lives, the nature of reality etc. has a shadow statement. in order to find it worthwhile to say a thing you must simultaneously be aware of the possibility of it being false, or else it wouldn't even occur to you to say

3. high variance between good & bad times depends how you relate to it but often a sign of compartmentalization and then over-identification with some parts

Malcolm Ocean 🏴‍☠️ @Malcolm_Ocean · Jul 15, 2024

if you and someone (bf/gf, cofounder, teacher.,) are often disconnected but you're living for the times when you feel so connected, that's a sign that you're pretending that's more real. it may be in some sense, but the distrust is also real