people issuing ultimatums consistently underestimate the extent to which everyone hates being ultimatum'd and how much that will bias them towards the "fuck you" option
4 tweets · September 2022 · 145 likes · 2 retweets · read on Twitter
people issuing ultimatums consistently underestimate the extent to which everyone hates being ultimatum'd and how much that will bias them towards the "fuck you" option
I have an old blog post about the kind of ultimatums that usually *don't* evoke the "fuck you" response, which is ultimatums that aren't presented as a challenge but just as a fact. (the key is that there's no bluffing involved) malcolmocean.com/2015/09/ultima…
I guess in some ways this is similar to how @tasshinfogleman talks about boundaries. tasshin.com/blog/boundarie…
@tasshinfogleman It also occurs to me that part of what's happening with ordinary fuck-you ultimatums is that they're essentially threats, and like all threats they attempt to collapse your awareness onto the preferred choice of the ultimator, so it seems like the only okay option.