5 tweets · October 2022 · 117 likes · 7 retweets · read on Twitter
Three steps for empowered dialogue: 1. see & affirm your own perspective deeply 2. hear the other person & take their perspective to their satisfaction 3. when they feel so heard that they can't help get curious about how you're seeing things, share your own perspective
I call this "empowered dialogue" because this always offers a way out of the victim stance. We always want to start with 3 (you hear me) but get blocked because the OTHER person wants to be heard first too (2). By hearing & validating OURSELVES first (1) we gain space to listen
Now, it's worth noting that being deeply heard by yourself is NOT the same as (or a total replacement for) being heard by the person you have a conflict with. And insofar as part of you is angry that they haven't heard you yet, validate *that* part too! That matters!
the core understanding that these 3 steps emerged out of: I first noticed this about myself but I get good results when I assume it holds for others too!
oh I already tweeted the steps! this tweet also shares a video where I talk about this