the skill of predicting people better than they can predict themselves is impressive but usually a distraction from learning how to love them and/or have satisfying interactions with them
6 tweets · February 2024 · 643 likes · 56 retweets · read on Twitter
the skill of predicting people better than they can predict themselves is impressive but usually a distraction from learning how to love them and/or have satisfying interactions with them
to the extent that you have a satisfying interface and can take the other's perspective, you actually want other people to be very UNpredictable, because that's more fun and interesting and at the edge of knowing
A: "you have this pattern where you try to make people like you and then deny it" B: "that's not how it seems to me" A: "I knew you would say that." ...so what? if you can't invite the system into a better dance, who gives a shit if you're right?
but the person who gives a shit is you, of course. this pattern arises, I gather, from someone experiencing a sense of unsafety regarding those around them, and attempting to predict these hostile entities to protect themselves and avoid the worst of the damage.
ah! yeah exactly, the reason people get fixated on their prediction success is that it's too scary to do this:
and to be clear, the solution (afaict) is not to try to just naively trust other people, but to bootstrap your own trusting process, listen to yourself more closely, build trust where it can be built, and so on