12 tweets · December 2023 · 145 likes · 2 retweets · read on Twitter
some people think that you make good on harms you've caused by suffering yourself (perhaps by being punished) other people think that you make good on harms you've caused by learning how not to do it again, and putting more beauty, love, life, into the world
me... I'm not entirely sure about the entire frame but the former definitely puts more suffering into the world and the latter makes the world better, so if someone is going to attempt to put things right, that's how I would like to see them going about it
external punishment sometimes helps keep people from doing bad things although it doesn't work at all for psychopaths/sociopaths, who seem (congenitally?) unable to learn from any kind of negative reinforcement, including punishment
this well-established fact about sociopathy (which may or may not be the root difference) suggests that being able to update appropriately from negative consequences is vital for sane living. kinda obvious! like how ppl who literally feel no pain end up with untreated injuries
but there are negative consequences that aren't punishment: 🏃 missing the train because you didn't get out the door on time 😖 someone else's pain, if they show it & you empathize with it 😡 a loved one being angry towards you 🤷♀️ someone not wanting to hang out with you again &+
Alfie Kohn talks about how if you train your kid via punishment, and they grow up and never rob a corner store only because they don't want to be punished... ...you haven't taught them how to be a good person, just how to selfishly not get caught!
having said that, I'm pretty suspicious of most notions of "be a good person". they smell of Original Spin ie something like this:
I'm in favour of something more like enlightened selfishness ie doing exactly what you want with no further justification needed but not blindly to the context you're in—attuned to the context and with an eye to help it flourish in ways that help it help you flourish
in Original Spin video I said > "Some larger wholes are constantly sinning against their parts, and thereby are not owed [cooperation from those parts]" some contexts, if you support them, will NOT support you! if you can't change that, gtfo! 😬
tbh, this doesn't require judging the outer context as wronging you. it could just be a bad fit for you like uhh no matter how much you support the basketball team's victory, it may not support your desire to become an astronaut (which is fine if you have others who do!)
anyway, all that to say:
and that also forgiveness is vital for the fabric of society, at any scale but especially when things are too densely connected (family, social groups) to easily go separate ways twitter.com/MicroSFF/statu…