Thread · Not noticing you can't smell, and not knowing your own passion · 1 of 5 tweets
I suspect that in a sane culture, people would notice inability to smell much earlier, because interactions would be grounded in experiencing an actual sense of things, not parroting / playing along maybe they'd even be actively cultivating their taste in sensual domains
I hate google's monopoly so much I hate what they do with it I hate how awful it is to try to wrangle my settings into a shape that will let me do what I want I hate that they still try to addict me to youtube even though they can't show me more ads and it just makes me hate them
I hate that there's nobody I can properly yell at for how mistreated I feel by this giant behemoth I hate that I have to talk to helpless support techs who are still human for now but whose supposed empathy feels about as resonant as if it were text from a not-even-LLM-bot
@CactusBrahmin yeah I have thought about this a bunch and my take is that playful/open imitation is fine but cultures that insist on you acting/"believing" in ways that actively seem confused to you... fuck people up.
@CactusBrahmin I have a sequence of posts on the tension between these, starting here: malcolmocean.com/2023/11/i-can-…
my product feedback on @youtube: - stop trying to addict people who are paying - you can't sell more ads to me! - stop lying and gaslighting your users re relevance
LessWrong is healing lesswrong.com/posts/gvNnE6Th…
> "The only reason people want to be masters of the future is to change the past"
from Le Guin's "A Non-Euclidean View of California as a Cold Place to Be" bpb-us-e1.wpmucdn.com/sites.ucsc.edu…
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF we didn't realize the "don't hit the tree" nature of their "don't be evil" maxim
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF no, this is great. helpful both in general and as a clearer window into you (in the sense that it points at stuff I've seen you point at before in ways that I wasn't able to follow the finger to the moon)
Retweeted @HephaistosF
@Malcolm_Ocean The Trying-To-Be-Wise say, "You shouldn't try to change the past; you should try to accept it." What do yo…
@HephaistosF exaptation feels relevant here actually yeah, I sense that grokking more what you're pointing at here will help me access the kind of view I'm pointing at in this video. it's the yang to some yin youtube.com/watch?v=Ub4_kr…
ahh the yin half is the insight I'm pointing at here, which is something about recognizing that you can't change the past and therefore every good future you could possibly get to has this moment in its past
there's a wisdom to that unconditional acceptance quality... but in my experience of sometimes doing it or something like it, I ended up also repressing of the true sense that NO, something has gone terribly wrong and I need to change that
@HephaistosF maybe in a sense, the thing I was repressing was the reality that I hadn't actually learned what I needed to learn, from the experience and so in my "post-regret" I was living my life as a fool, gaily heading towards making the exact same mistake
@haig in the sense that you try teaching the concept to ChatGPT?
Thread · Tracing the origin of the phrase "common knowledge cascade"
seems like the phrase "common knowledge cascade" showed up in ~2020 from an account @SimonDeDeo, since deactivated kinda surprised it wasn't older than that! anybody recall what he said at the time? @kevinsimler @vgr @nosilverv @ben_mathes @ben_r_hoffman @aneeshm @acidshill
seems likely it evolved from the older & more common concept of "preference cascade" (/information cascade)
(I figured out who to tag based on searching for "common knowledge" cascade ...in many cases if the whole phrase was in quotes it didn't show up due to subtle variations)
aha, praise be to screenshots! (screenshotting again just in case)
I wonder if anybody saved the whole thread. oh wait, now I can google a fragment from it. aha! help us @DellAnnaLuca! you're our only hope
ah drat, this excerpt doesn't have much more than the original... but it's a clue. we're looking at common knowledge collapse (an alternate term!) in the wake of George Floyd luca-dellanna.com/thoughts-of-th…
aha, searching "common knowledge collapse" I get some stuff that didn't show up with "cascade", including this TechCrunch article about 2020's dystopian vibes which quotes another tweet from the thread. but that tweet isn't quoted anywhere else google knows of
still almost no results for "common knowledge collapse" though. the others are irrelevant or merely quote TC or Simon & nothing more and then there's this 1997 paper which uses the phrase but syntactically different; what's "collapsing" here is the meaning of the phrase "ck"
anyway that's enough sleuthing on my part today here's a manic 6am thread from last summer boggling at the nature of common knowledge:
cool thread with reflections on what it means to speak on behalf of an entity I'll note that often people say "I don't want X" and what's actually true is that part of them wants not-X and some other part (that they are disowning/ignoring in that moment) DOES want X.
@rajlearns this reminds me of this heuristic:
@rajlearns how do you even know you're not good at them if you haven't tried?
who else is going to VULFPECK this thursday before vibeclipse!??! 🎷🎸🥁🎙️🎹🎶 (somehow there are still tickets available but probably not for long 👇) ticketmaster.com/evening-with-v…
@SaraBollman it's broadly bad to ongoingly majorly mislead people, but part of the deal with flirting is that it's ambiguous! so it's not per se misleading so much as inviting someone into the space of ambiguity possibility openness play unknown curiosity
@visakanv I'm working on an online course on mating dances / falling sanely in love, which is my plan for getting high-interest people to pay me to have more of the conversations that will crystallize into the book on the topic
@AskYatharth maybe part of this is because if I post that I've got an extra 100k from my mom people can ask for some of it but if I post that me & my wife have an amazing sex life then people aren't like "can I have some?" (except in some poly circles I guess lol)
wait was this partially cope for being afraid of actually accumulating wealth? I think it was
huh yeah this was a way of reinforcing my belief that no matter how much money I make I still won't actually have lots of money. wild. (a belief that came from my parents taxing my summer jobs at 100% in high school to help pay for my boarding school they could barely afford)
to be clear, I still love the idea of funding people to do passion projects of various kinds, at various scales. but now I'm also just like "hmm money is good I think I would like to have more of it"
@visakanv @mimi10v3 took me a few months but this insight is gradually clicking in and it turns out that indeed the assumption that I have to make more money with my business has been holding me back, in part because I'm conflicted about that and parts of me just want to do something totally new
@visakanv would you say that back in 2017 you were repressing the belief as something to identify with, but still living it? I have a sense that you were already pretty transparent by that time
@asemic_horizon yeah maybe not forever but like, for enough time to get to a place where it can become a profitable project
@cphrmky we also have biologically driven urges to spend a lot of time in nature and yet the rate at which people move to cities is really strong (which sucks on this front) weird analogy lol but the point is that human culture has us, happily or not, transcend some urges for others
@SurgeCityDreams terrifying if Gen Zs aren't learning how to flirt and love
@mreliwjones if you've found a sufficiently hospitable external world that there's no need for you and your wife to have an ego boundary against anything else at all... ...then I wanna know what neighborhood you live in, what apps you're using, what media you read. sounds like paradise.
@rophov oh interesting, hadn't heard that! but yeah I mean I am coming towards the uncomfortable sense that unless people are married (or even more critically, have a kid together) then they're still kind of available — fair competition. marriage is for saying "back off"
Replying to @smthingsprtual
@smthingsprtual not sure if this is what you're getting at, but my suggestion is not to "date until you find someone better", but to "date until you want to have kids with someone" and that may involve exiting your current situation if you realize it's not gonna be it
shine through me
Replying to @NISHI_NO_KI
@NISHI_NO_KI @umbersorrow it seems to me more like a variant on bullshit (speaking not known falsehoods but without care for the truth) where it's not that the anosmic kid themselves doesn't care about the truth, but that the social/memetic context collectively doesn't, in a particular way
Replying to @cxveat
@cxveat yeah he does go on to say slightly more sane things but I agree I do also think lots of people identify as "passionate about something" as an imitative move though, and that that sort of phenomenon is likely to produce an experience of having trouble reasoning about tradeoffs
@cxveat like if someone were deeply in touch with their own sense of passion, and their own sense of what feels good, they probably wouldn't be Asking Quora whether the tradeoff is worth it (they'd at minimum be asking "how did YOU make such a decision and do you regret it?")
Thread · Not noticing you can't smell, and not knowing your own passion · 4 of 5 tweets
part of what's going on here is that lots of people identify as "passionate about something" as an imitative or introjected move though, and that that sort of phenomenon is likely to produce an experience of having trouble reasoning about tradeoffs
like if someone were deeply in touch with their own sense of passion, and their own sense of what feels good, they probably wouldn't be Asking Quora whether the tradeoff is worth it (they'd at minimum be asking "how did YOU make such a decision and do you regret it?")
the fact that they're asking Quora how to weigh their passion against their basic life needs is a sign (not conclusive but suggestive) that they're not steering from their own sense of things which is similar to the guy who doesn't notice his anosmia!
here's my mostly-written blog post series about the difference between being able to tell for yourself and taking someone else's word for it: malcolmocean.com/2023/11/i-can-…
@asemic_horizon how about setting aside a day, or even just an hour, where you feel totally free to chase the muse?
I bought a couple extra vulfpeck tickets to make sure some friends had some but they're good so lmk if you wanna catch vulfpeck tonight and I may be able to hook you up!
I bought a couple extra vulfpeck tickets to make sure some friends had some but they're good so lmk if you wanna catch vulfpeck in Austin tonight and I may be able to hook you up! #vibeclipse
Freedman's Rabbit Theorem (from this paper on abuse of models) arxiv.org/pdf/2208.11230…
@xeixeira146866 @Morphenius ^ this. relatedly they are "the main things vegetarians can eat but vegans can't"
@TristanSevers @mechanical_monk I had the delightful experience summer 2022 when I was in Glasgow of meeting a Frenchman who'd been living in Scotland for the last 10 years, and his accent was... well, what you'd expect: French+Scottish. but... bizarre and surprising. I have no idea how he managed the Rs
@lisatomic5 if your uncle jack helped you on a horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse?
I'm here for this
@OortCloudAtlas weirdly too-simple but sometimes I just play with turning the vividness dial up on my experience and then things are more vivid and it's pretty great relates to "living in first person"
Retweeted @visakanv
this feels to me almost too mundane to mention but the simple knowledge that multiple things can be true, even seemingly con…
> Market power leaks round the edges of any legislation. Only abundance works.
(update: sold!)
Retweeted @Malcolm_Ocean
if books were gods, in the pantheonic sense, which gods have you made the most offerings to? offerings might include 📖…
@andy_matuschak @utotranslucence Marginalia wen (Jess was working on an app for this and many other improvements many years ago; the project isn't active anymore tho)
@andy_matuschak people are fucking sleeping on this. here's my thread from 5 years ago about what I wanted to see in digital reading tech:
Retweeted @RomeoStevens76
@visakanv Philosophers would benefit from better understanding of how tacit linked premises often have emotional conten…
@lolalucxy fully-adequate therapy requires grappling with theodicy
@lolalucxy where does wrongness come from?
@lolalucxy I often say something more like simply "that makes sense!" (it may make a sense that contradicts some other sense you or someone else has... but every sense you make of anything makes sense!)
@lolalucxy unfortunately anyone with a therapist's license can get away with calling what they're doing therapeutic
what are some songs or hymns you know that are (at least in part) sung from God's perspective?
@bnielson01 are you down to unpack this a bit? I've been sorta struck by something funny in the CR scene for awhile and have had trouble putting my finger on it, and I wonder if this is it
@camsinit @TylerAlterman at this point I basically only tip when someone is "waiting on" me. delivering food to the number at my table and then taking the number doesn't count I also do not tip if I'm paying before receive the service first. the spirit of tipping is for quality of service!!
@camsinit @TylerAlterman the whole point of tipping is it's supposed to vary by quality of service. it's part of the dance of the temporary bond and rapport created between customer and staff.
@xuenay my money is provisionally on: - intelligence yes - wisdom/insight/soul no like yeah a bunch of what humans do is "just" pattern-matching and completion but then there's also deep magic of resonant attention, and if a bot can do that, we're somewhere new
@m_ashcroft @blissbrah @thrivahealth anybody know if there's a thing like this for USA? or maybe they ship to USA...
Retweeted @eshear
All gnostic mystic traditions are fundamentally the same even if they express their insights differently for the same reason al…
@Code_of_Kai @eshear yeah there's not one fundamental perspective; what it means to come to the same knowings is in part a matter of being able to recognize our perspectives in each others in a way, fields are currently scientific to the extent that the people in them agree on how to measure things
Retweeted @br___ian
kinda cool that this big superorganism is smart enough to be like “hmmmm some stuff not going that well” and there’s a whole…
@br___ian let's hang at vibeclipse? DM me if you wanna make contact (I don't check main notifs much)
Replying to @vivekt17
@vivekt17 Yeah based on the caption I was expecting she like... said he was hot when he had his shirt off or something.
@vivekt17 My best steelman of the original take is like... If the reason the kid was not into it in the first place was because a bunch of memes around consent, when otherwise he actually would have been excited... then yeah fuck those memes. But also no still does mean no in this context
@vivekt17 Re-reading it and seeing the bit about the crush, I feel like what was missing for him was him feeling able to be like "hey slow down I like you but this is too fast". (In terms of how I'd want to prepare him, separate from whether she fucked up)
@lisatomic5 "most folk never see math. Instead they're taught computation."
@_samantha_joy @utotranslucence and I also have this ambition. And/or to find a subset of kid-oriented music that's worth listening to.
Retweeted @ellebeecher
Life moves fast when you tell the truth.
Man I didn't get moral independence til 28
@gptbrooke Yep I'm down. Give me a few seconds of heads-up first though if it's in-person 🙂
@natural_hazard unexpected mystical subtle paradoxical
@p_millerd Joel Kramer & Diana Alstad maybe They wrote The Guru Papers and were working on a book called Control that never got published
@AbstractFairy This is good for programming but bad for ordinary text.
I kinda wanna host an event like this at vibeclipse
Retweeted @__drewface
You are already feeling your feelings. You are already thinking your thoughts. You are already learning your lessons. You a…
@GronerJonas The trauma itself contains the memory. If it's here, it's here now.
@the_wilderless > and that some people, as they practice, will naturally gravitate towards one or the other Can you imagine if there was a fucking emptiness gene and some people had it and some people didn't and maybe some people get a ground of being and some people don't?
Retweeted @mbateman
If your ethics asks you to treat your happiness as irrelevant in huge decisions like having children, or considers projects a…
@GSalmieri @Kat__Woods Someone would think this if they thought the only true forms of ethics are forms of altruism:
@GSalmieri @Kat__Woods Altruism is by definition a cucked philosophy
Retweeted @tracewoodgrains
why is western animation so often deliberately ugly? why so visually repulsive? why have we let this permeate our cult…
@AskYatharth Getting up to wild shit helps you find the others who are getting up to wild shit But yeah also don't kick out too many rungs on your way, so others can join you if they wish
@Jeanvaljean689 This might not even be that big! Could fit it in an ordinary apartment
Retweeted @anielsen108
Collapse of sex/gender/orientation dimensionality has flattened discourse. Used to be: a butch lesbian who liked femmes h…
@liminal_warmth @yacineMTB Also adblockers
If you can handle these, the learning part takes care of itself
Retweeted @Westoncb
The reason there’s so much alpha in prompt construction is it’s literally a natural language interface to tensor network conf…
@katrinadlc I have a move, inspired somehow by ideal parent figure protocol, that I call: "Bathe in Love". While laying in bed, I imagine sinking into a bath or pool of pure love, of everyone who loves or has loved me—my parents, grandparents, friends, lovers, etc. It feels very soothing.
@viemccoy yo let's talk more about Deleuze and interface theory of reality etc
Retweeted @repligate
if you think LLMs are alive, it's because you have never tried a BASE model if you try a BASE model, you will see....... 👀…
Retweeted @gptbrooke
PSA There is a 4 yo at vibeclipse who says he has initiated the singularity. We have 100 days He seems to have done this by…
overheard at vibeclipse: "I mean... I have borderline-dated a person who was borderline borderline"
laughter loosens
"social skills bootcamp for young parts"
if you don't have anything hilarious to say, don't say anything at all
@nosilverv Not a parent yet (soon!) but concretely: - I want them to be able to make sense of the world around them - I want them to be ungaslightable - I want them to be comfortable playing in markets: building and selling I think if we can handle those, the rest will work out well
@_samantha_joy Whoa hold up who told you you had to have a right in order to desire something? If you desire it, you desire it. Full stop. Whether or not you or others can realize it.
quitting many individual things is vital; sticking through something is also vital
@visakanv what's showing up? what's your learning edge re showing up these days?
@AskYatharth > they don't feel alive or capable of making independent moral decisions that way oh yeah nice, very much a vibe
Thread · Simple marriage vows built on the eight worldly winds · 12 of 13 tweets
we deliberately kept our vows very simple and close-to-traditional because we wanted to be clear that we were vowing one thing: to be married —knowing that our interpretation of what that means and how to best achieve it will change, as we learn & are influenced however!
we DID have very unconventional and personalized "declaration of intent", which is the earlier part of the ceremony where all parties to the wedding (bride, groom, and everyone-else) state that they intend for the wedding to happen
she read a poem that was written before we got together but mythically implicated me; I read a short piece I'd written as a response to that poem both spoke to the meaning of our love and our commitment
also, at the end, we invited everyone to join us in singing I Will Be In Love, a song I've been gradually writing for years that speaks to my views on love
but our vows were simply: to have and to hold from this day forward, in gain and in loss, in fame and in insignificance, when blamed and when praised, in pleasure and in pain, until death do us part.
probably some people didn't even notice they weren't the classic vows: to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
the lines we swapped in are from the buddha, who calls them the "eight worldly winds"—the inevitable conditions that recur highlighting that while yes, obviously we like some experiences more than others, attempting to avoid unwanted states or cling to wanted ones doesn't work
a marriage vow is one thing: to be one, regardless of how the winds may blow. we named four dimensions, but the idea is that in any direction, our bond extends beyond the horizon out to infinity
we know of others who've written their own vows about how they want to love each other; in one case, friends enumerated 4 different vows about specific ways they were promising to have each others' backs, give constructive criticism, etc
but who knows how my spouse will need to be loved next year or next decade? we left that part to be discovered: "I intend to love you as my spouse; if it turns out my current strategies for that are inadequate, I intend to change my approach"
on a different level, it seems to us that having all of these specific vows is a distraction from the central singular vow of the wedding, which is about stepping into a shared unknown that you don't fully control
part of not starting from scratch with our vows is that we've been through enough in life to know that we can't simply reinvent everything—that getting married means that people and institutions will relate to us in terms of whatever marriage means to them
@AnneSelke thanks for inspiring me to finally write up a thread about how @utotranslucence and I thought about our vows: I hope it's a useful perspective for you and/or the folks you're working with :)
@forthrighter I remind myself of what I know, often by speaking aloud: "I'm feeling anxious" "I don't know what to do" "I KNOW I don't know what to do" the knowingness is grounding. more on this: malcolmocean.com/2023/11/i-can-…
self-organized criticality in the brain feels like a natural and necessary response to the nature of combinatorial explosions in making sense of stuff thetransmitter.org/the-big-pictur…
> knits together evolutionary history, anthropology, cultural history, and cognitive psychology huge @vervaeke_john vibes here, applied to education astralcodexten.com/p/your-book-re…
haha wtf the cybertruck looks like it's made out of lego lolll
Retweeted @MattPirkowski
Real time video of high quality X mutuals helping one another rid themselves of the parasitic mind viruses so prevalent…
@MattPirkowski @terry50kaufman are you down to unpack this?
@embryosophy yepppp
@AskYatharth yo come hang. I'm finding it hard to do this on twitter these days but increasingly subtly possible in person
@mattgoldenberg you can't just call something a safe space and have that automatically unquestionably result in that making it safe but in practice it will create some safety (the safety it seeks to create or some other kind) somewhat, for some people, sometimes
Retweeted @Malcolm_Ocean
@mattgoldenberg you can't just call something a safe space and have that automatically unquestionably result in that mak…
@RichDecibels gorgeous reminded me of in 2020 I read a post on facebook of someone who did a trip report on their experience of covid
Thread · Simple marriage vows built on the eight worldly winds · 1 of 13 tweets
marriage is great—highly recommended. we're so flush with love now that we're trying to help all of our friends find life partners. may you find what you seek, and know that you've found it
may you find what you seek, and know you've found it may you breathe just a tad easier may you find a way to begin again, again may you wonder if it gets even better may you elicit a smile and a knowing look may you experience a vibrant life on your terms
> ...dominant theories of educational psychology see children as lesser versions of adults. What else would we teach them, except dumbed-down versions of what adults learn? But children have certain cognitive strengths... astralcodexten.com/p/your-book-re…
teamwork makes the meme work
If dancing, like 8/10 Otherwise like 5/10 twitter.com/saerodynamic_/…
> [Kieran] Egan is @JoHenrich for education > Both show how you can’t understand psychological differences among individuals just by looking at their genes, or at their immediate environment — you have to see what’s been happening in the hundreds and thousands of years of their…
hello fremd
@kevinsimler there's a post somewhere (LW?) that reframes all human senses as superpowers... very much this vibe
Retweeted @the_wilderless
Who wants to join me and “Make Our Thoughts Essay-Shaped Again”?
Retweeted @s8mb
I think conservatives' concern is that lab grown meat will get "good enough" to justify a ban on real meat, but still won't be as…
@VividVoid_ Percepts too tbh
Retweeted @Jeanvaljean689
Playing around with the idea that all human suffering might be simply because people are choosing to ignore one side…
Retweeted @IvanVendrov
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing us that good and evil were characteristics of individual people in…
some comments on @antediluvn's comments on the ideas in @RomeoStevens76 & @aneeshm's convo about attractors in mind space and the supercooperation cluster my comments include an attempt at a proof-by-contradiction that the biggest agent is friendly docs.google.com/document/d/1Hf…
here's the convo — coolest 45mins of audio I listened to last year youtube.com/watch?v=X6MYsK…
and here's the original place the comments I'm commenting on were published baerd.me/item/attractor…
@__drewface @Prigoose Yeah interested in all, especially crew and no-money-kids
i was honestly surprised by how dark it WASN'T during the eclipse
the only way to build trust with someone is by doing something that builds trust with them
Thread · A collection of useful tautologies · 1 of 18 tweets
@bridgemixture @tylerblack32 one guess, given that the strong correlation with mondays remains, is that being stuck at work sucks more when you wish you could go for a walk in the park could verify this by checking by climate—does it reflect when the weather is "nice out"? eg not too-hot summer
@OlafLewitz idk if you're on twitter but I saw your Physics of Trust slides when I looked up the phrase to see if anyone else was using it hello to the Trust Artist from the Trust Dancer
do more adults commit suicide during summer or winter? turns out... it's... summer! one guess as to why, given the strong correlation with mondays, is that being stuck at work sucks more when you wish you could go for a walk in the park. vs holed up against the cold. could verify this by checking by climate—does it reflect when the weather is "nice out"? eg too-hot summers might produce a desire to hide indoors
> ...today, in the Internet age, it is the first time that shamans can work together at scale. Up until now they have always been outnumbered by their social surroundings. > And as these begin to — well, I’m not sure “organize” is the right word ... metamoderna.org/neuroatypicali…
Retweeted @nosilverv
Ok so CHECK this shit out -- I've been talking a lot about the "location of identity" and I think what Socrates was doing wa…
from:@AskYatharth keywords 👉 twitter.com/search?q=from%…
@mbateman this is the sort of thing that LLMs are decently good at but I'm not particularly impressed with the results in this case the word "youth" comes to mind but I guess it's also too ambiguous
hadn't really thought about this before but it seems pretty fucked and insofar as we have laws against theft that are being enforced for the public good it seems like wage theft should be included in that more than perhaps it is
intend.do looks like a to-do list app ...you've seen many a to-do list app If you've seen lots of fish 🐟 You might see a fish when you look at a dolphin 🐬 But a dolphin went through a whole land phase, as a mammal. Intend started as email service asking:
"my GTD is in shambles and yet I must act" — a person signing up for intend.do, when asked "What brought you here today?" ...one of the most apt answers I've seen!
the biggest thing that makes intend.do different from other apps where you put in a list of stuff to do is that it's not about organizing your backlog but about doing something that makes sense right now, despite the chaos
this is described more on the Philosophy page: intend.do/philosophy
tried writing out 20 short phrases/sentences starting with "I am" without thinking about it too hard feel free to try yourself, before you read mine in retrospect, "I'm" might have felt more intuitive ... ... I am Malcolm I am Jess's husband I am a Canadian I am a guy I am a person I am a feral free agent I am alive I am this I am here I am typing I am curly-haired I am long-haired I am wondering what I will write next I am an entrepreneur I am of european descent I am of celtic descent I am descended from Scots I am going to die
overheard: "he's one of those fuckers who like... can't sleep with the TV on" ...jfc. I was really expecting an "off" at the end of that sentence 😬
@this_is_silvia Publish a book
Retweeted @AskYatharth
inappropriate honesty is honesty that forgets the other person is there, simply spills i.e., simply dissociating from the…
@AskYatharth This is great Highlights the relevance dimension of honesty
@Jarsen Overall vibe is great—men need more chance to amp up and go all out and feel their impact. Something feels a bit weird about how he repeats "I am a man" with that kind of desperation tho maybe.
Retweeted @a_fellow_of
Basically, the argument is that this is a misreading of the gospels A central theme of all four gospels, in my opinion, i…
Retweeted @aleksil79
the snake neglected to mention we'd have to fuck around and find out in order to know
interesting video about anti-racism and how fixating on race ends up causing racism youtu.be/0xwEq38aL9M
(not coleman:) > when you look at the economic data, you see these disparities between [races], so your argument that race has no place in that equation is flawed lol. first issue: averages. households aren't averages, they're individual households.
Coleman is impressively calm through this convo and does a great job of... when there's a debate about others' views (MLK, or Robin DeAngelo) not arguing too much and just saying "read it, it's clear"
somehow feels very awkward to hear the woman on the right telling Coleman about how "the black community" sees him
supposedly electrical signals in mycelial networks are similar to those in neurons not that big if true but neat to think about mushroom colonies as giant slooowww brains ift.tt/DfaOMcE
"ineffability renders hyperstimulus safe"
instead of Facebook or Partiful, I just used Google calendar to coordinate invites to my birthday party and it worked great and now GCal has an "invite via link" feature. they know what's up.
me: how the hell did the great vowel shift happen? also me: I'm verry sloopy, gotta goeda bead
struck by how memes sometimes get friendlier or more wholesome by the time they reach me examples so far: - shitposting - skill issue - wife guy
@AskYatharth unlike the others, it failed gracefully/elegantly/wholesomely
@JoshuaLWatson just came across your account and a few links it occurred to me you might be into this is an interpretation of Genesis, not early christianity per se, but related: vectorsofmind.com/p/the-snake-cu…
this is a series of videos on the meaning of "salvation" and the evolution of God's covenant (I don't endorse this guy but it was an interesting set of views I hadn't seen elsewhere) youtube.com/watch?v=JnKOYj…
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF holy shit that's solid
looking into this a bit closer and indeed this is noncentral fallacy and I quoted/amplified it somewhat unreflectively well, hopefully an opportunity for inoculation
for reference, here's what the one for kids looks like. heavily correlated with school
@embryosophy I mostly assumed it was still direct sunlight but refracted through the sky, as with twilight but yeah the corona was totally visible and brighter than the planets that were also visible
Replying to @peakexperiments
@peakexperiments I was wondering about this as well!
who has seen a total eclipse in a perfectly clear sky and one in a cloudy sky? was the clear sky darker? I was expecting stars during the day but we could only see Venus & maybe Mercury twitter.com/peakexperiment…
concretely I'm also pretty into making our thoughts letter-shaped we could be writing more long-form correspondence with each other got something to explain? explain it to me in a google doc & lemme comment
@chercher_ai AQAL is one of the classics (it also includes younger ages) it's way less concrete though
@chercher_ai the MHC (Model of Hierarchical Complexity) is a pretty good one that goes all the way from the tiniest ability to even, up to galaxy brain shit like people synthesizing perspectives from wildly different paradigms to produce new insights
@visakanv the quote I mentioned on our call today
Replying to @sashachapin
@sashachapin (I have heard it is gonna be sunday night at 7pm pst, ie 18.5h from when this tweet you're reading right now was sent)
We said we were going to do this "for the time being". And we did. But the Time Being is a hungry beast, and demanded ever more sacrifice.
just had a free money-mapping session with @daemonhugger and it was interestingly juicy. I've done a lot trying to unblock my money stuff a lot over the last couple years, and we found some new connections and unexpected implications.
one tangle was a whole thing around competition, like if I'm trying to make money, where is that money coming from? and I realized I'd seen it as sort of coming from people, but I could see it more as coming from whatever-else-they-would-have-spent-it-on, eg competitors!
another bit was taking in how vicious some marketers are willing to be, in terms of knowingly dividing and conquering peoples' psyches, not caring if they deliver the goods I had sort of assumed they were... idk. trying and failing to be wholesome? feels obvious in retro
"I got pilled by too many pills and now I'm sick"
"if you grieve enough, you start wanting things that are actually on the table" — @johnsalvatier
@the_wilderless yeah it's a good read , enjoyable, and culturally referenced often enough that it might add some richness to other moments
@TylerAlterman @Adele_Quested amazing
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too
has anyone studied interventions against the Asch conformity experiment? ways to get people to back their own experience when it contradicts the room. would need the intervention to not feel like it's directly related to the conformity moment ofc
Thread · Why calling minimum wage violations "theft" is a bad frame · 1 of 8 tweets
reflected on this wage theft chart a bit and it seems to me that calling "not paying something the government says you must (min wage)" "theft" is kind of equivalent to saying that slaves are stealing from owners if they don't work. which probably some pre-emancipation laws said
@Corvidelle I was initially tentatively convinced but then I realized that this is a pretty weird way to define "theft"
@codybaldwin @johnsalvatier it's not about attributing the growth to bad stuff it's about accepting the reality that you don't live in the world where certain things you'd hoped for are possible, so you can step more fully into the world you're in
@DreadCanary I originally had "eldritch" in the prompt but I had to remove it in order to get the image to not be all tentacles here was an alternate time being I got:
@AskYatharth here's an alternate one I was considering:
What have you sacrificed to The Time Being?
@aleksil79 the 🇵🇸 in the name is also a bit of a flag
Thread · Why calling minimum wage violations "theft" is a bad frame · 2 of 8 tweets
a way less extreme take is that it's theft to not pay the government the taxes they insist you owe them like look that might be bad but it's not THEFT
to be clear the thing I am beefing at here is calling minimum wage violations "theft" taking tips is clearly thefty & requiring off the clock work weird but thefty no-extra-pay-for-overtime/no-breaks is fucked but "theft" is a bad word for it
continuing to be sad/angry about @X's regression where it doesn't show full QTs. this breaks a bunch of old threads that relied on it to make sense. obv don't show more than 280 chars, but if it's short show the whole thing!!
Thread · Would there still be taxes in eutopia? · 1 of 10 tweets
@RichDecibels @Jairo_YamoT wow this is dope. speaking as a beatboxer myself, I'm pretty confident tho (not certain) this is a lipsync & he's using a few heavy effects, like if you were just acoustically in the room with these guys the bass wouldn't be so sick. if I'm wrong I'll eat my hat 🤠
Thread · Why calling minimum wage violations "theft" is a bad frame · 1 of 8 tweets
"taxation is theft" is also noncentral fallacy but most taxation is weirdly divorced from the reasons you have to pay it
@johnvmcdonnell yeah it's all a bit much. supposedly many white collar folks are working like 2-4h out of supposedly 8h days
Replying to @LauraRu852
@LauraRu852 this recent story from a guy who went there suggests that they're not being killed just kept under extreme control. so not genocide but fucked in a different way. letter.palladiummag.com/p/a-week-in-xi…
@uncatherio very different yeah. spent a few more moments and came up with something better:
Retweeted @BTofficiel
Barbell strategy for collaboration Emails or Zoom/Gmeet
Retweeted @aneeshm
A 'normie' is defined as one who: 1. Engages in normative reasoning, 2. Confuses/interweaves this seamlessly with causal reas…
@RomeoStevens76 might be helpful:
I've gotten increasingly into hanging out with someone while one of us watches the other use their computer have barely scratched the surface but it has clear huge upside
@davidmanheim @uncatherio I feel like there's a difference between "owed according to the contract made between us" and "owed according to a law someone else drafted far away and insists applies to us" and that's part of the issue.
Thread · Why calling minimum wage violations "theft" is a bad frame · 1 of 8 tweets
minimum wage laws are like laws requiring I give my kids and allowance and then calling it theft from the kids if I don't
Replying to @MilitantHobo
@MilitantHobo it's noncentral for theft but I might say yeah it's theft. it's a betrayal, a breach of contract. but...
@muddletoes idk man I just work here
@Vorvayne @aleksil79 I would have given that reply regardless of the flag the country was from, because it was a funny pun. which leaves plenty of space for me to have a wide range of takes on palestine, some of which would support the non pun reading and some wouldn't
why the fuck can't Grok already be used to find tweets based on synonyms etc surely someone in my crowd has tweeted about how dictators are afraid of laughter, but there are many pairwise keywords to use here
oh well, time to just tweet it anew
the tyrant fears genuine play
@Vorvayne @aleksil79 you can't really talk about what "we" are like "in these parts" with me; you're followed by literally one account I follow—idk if we're in the same part of twitter at all but around my parts, everything is fair game for play, humor, double-meaning, nuance
huh, same insight:
here's my new rendition probably I'll get the links to @visakanv's threads on this sooner or later as a result of posting mine anyway go go gadget rhizome
@Vorvayne @aleksil79 anyway in summary I am not not with you but I am not against you
@AskYatharth > people will literally steal the horror of words 😙👌
Thread · Why calling minimum wage violations "theft" is a bad frame · 1 of 8 tweets
I feel like some people replying are... presuming that what is legally required is base reality, then reason backwards to talk about actual observed reality as if it's a counterfactual feels like a variation of this error 👇
@aneeshm huhhhh
Thread · Why calling minimum wage violations "theft" is a bad frame · 1 of 8 tweets
huh, confusion in normative vs causal reasoning... seems relevant
@jeffrey5875 I get "legally" but are you saying that in your view the government decides what is moral?
@Tropical_Xavier thanks. I was being kinda deliberately provocative, not to be disrespectful but to try to tease out my own confusion. I guess... I find abuses of language disrespectful to everybody, and would like for us to be able to resolve minimum wage violations without breaking words
@LizardOrman so are you saying that the people who are calling "paying under minimum wage" "wage theft" are misusing the term wage theft? I agree that paying less than what you agreed is super fucked and it's part of why my first QT of this tweet was affirmative, til I read closer
you're a high-decoupler I'm a guy who tries empathizing with why evil makes sense from its own perspective ...we are not the same.
@ladymcscope I agree that's another equivalence you could make and I still think it's noncentral for "theft" the point I'm making is about the question of who gets to decide who is entitled to what, such that not giving someone something they're entitled to can be called "theft"
Thread · Why calling minimum wage violations "theft" is a bad frame · 1 of 8 tweets
I think part of my issue here is related to the difference between legal entitlement and moral entitlement or like... who gets to decide who is entitled to what, such that not giving someone something they're entitled to can be called "theft"?
@visakanv I found that one but I was looking for one more directly on the nature of laughter and the fool or something idk if it exists
the first rule of Phenomenology Club is you have to experience it for yourself
I like the vibe of this "Charrette" thing
@jeffrey5875 it's also debates over how we might go about deciding. if we don't even agree what it means to agree or disagree, then we can't even disagree on the object level
@maybegray I've been praying for you & @Fooljeff ♥️ (and for a bunch of other hopeful couples)
Retweeted @Prigoose
you heal the last 10% of heartbreak through a relationship with someone you love
@Prigoose beautiful. very much my experience
Retweeted @__drewface
Programming is just a fancy way to say "how humans talk to and control machines" It's a basic liberal art, like English or…
@Metta_Jedi then just stop following them (or even block them) and you have a new part of twitter. it's that easy.
@FU_joehudson I found myself thinking "well, I would do this if and only if the job were one that regularly had urgency where minutes were of the essence in a non-negotiable way" (firefighting, stock trading maybe?) so the sense of urgency would be real: to signal that I can hustle if needed
@ElodesNL I have sometimes dealt with stuff like this, yeah also other weird tangles like talking with high-considerateness folks while my bodymind still expects its native high-involvement norms, so when they go quiet I talk even more to fill the space they're not participating in
Thread · Notes from a call on starting a service business · 8 of 26 tweets
livetweeting thoughts on this call I have many ideas for how to make more money, not all but many of which are appropriate for "service business" twitter.com/sashachapin/st…
> "what it is is very flexible, you just say 'here's a service I offer. you can buy it.'"
~"the premise of this is that many people have skills that are not being valued as much as they could be"
"you're going to do very well at your service business if you serve people more thoughtfully than they expect" "most people are not trying to be better at what they do"
getting started is deceptively simple: - you ask: who can I help, and with what - you reach out to them and offer it (be transparent—for experiment, you're not asking for $ yet) at the end of whatever amount of service, you ask: - (least) fav thing - testimonial? ideally vid
you want to know about their problem, including their assumptions about the problem
one thing you can do in these calls that can be helpful is to challenge their assumptions "ugh I can't get myself to do this project" "what makes you think you need to?" (fundamental freedom vibes, in this case)
help them regardless, help them discern if it's a good fit. tell them reasons why they wouldn't want to work with you all of this is very similar vibes to @TadHargrave's stuff
"everybody knows $200 is worth $100"
Thread · Notes from a call on starting a service business · 1 of 26 tweets
@TadHargrave how much you can charge varies by 2 orders of magnitude you can generally charge a lot more if you do something with clear business outcomes for people who have a lot of money doesn't have to be business-related, can be therapy but geared towards execs
(the non-stupid thing here is that if you have a service that causes someone to make $200 they wouldn't have otherwise, then that service is worth $100)
Thread · Notes from a call on starting a service business · 17 of 26 tweets
@TadHargrave "Berkeley syndrome" = advertising the weird technique you have instead of the result you'll give them "restore fascial health" vs "heal chronic pain" if you do illegible stuff, lead with the human end—the actual problem the person is facing, that they would know if it's solved
@TadHargrave Sasha recommends working for the price you want or for free, rather than a discounted rate and for those who want it for free, ask for them to talk about you publicly a lot (if it goes well!)
value-based pricing, where you ask what the result they want would be worth to them, then agree that they'll pay you 0.1x or 0.5x that if you solve it, or whatever
retainer-style pricing, where you're responsively on call for a monthly free
macro-skills vs micro-skills "writing" vs "writing characters with rich inner lives" vs "bringing essays to a snappy conclusion"
so for myself... reduce what I'm not good at into micro-skills, then practice those consider things you're not good at—"assertiveness", "sales"—and see what sub-skills they have that you could just practice.
to someone who feels guilty getting paid literally ever > seems like you believe other people are adults who can operate freely, unless it comes to them benefitting/paying you, in which case they're babies who can be manipulated by you (even though you're not good at sales)
> if something's not a fit, try to stay helpful > fire them with suggestions (eg "this book"), and try to explain the mismatch in a way that will be useful for them
Sasha seems to use the term "service mindset" to refer to this attitude that is trying to help people whether or not they pay you (while also asking for money)
"I feel like I'm basically trying to sell my intuition" — @myceliummage, asking for advice feels related to "modalities are fake, magic is real"
@myceliummage (Sasha recommends nonetheless trying to figure out what kinds of results people are getting from working with you if it goes well. in other words: different magics do different things.)
"how to grow" you just ask for referrals you might not feel bad about sales but you might still feel indebted towards them but generally if you've gotten good results for them they'll want to help you find more people! it's a nice opportunity you're giving them
"it's pretty hard to put out 7 true and insightful takes about something without having yet deeper wisdom" — @sashachapin (so don't worry about giving away your insights)
@sashachapin "coaching is a shared experience – you will do better work if you work with people who delight you" — @sashachapin
there's also a skill about navigating the kinds of communication blockers / annoying traits that come up with people • "I'm feeling bored but I don't think you're a boring person... are you being diplomatic and not mentioning what's really alive?" • "hey a lot of our calls are being taken up by these rambling stories" • "it seems like maybe you've got some assumptions about what I mean... can we look at those?"
"even when it goes super well, it can be weirdly unsatisfying" because it's squishy, not crunchy
how to do referrals well in general, a free consultation call link gated by a quiz/typeform but for referrals, I let them share my free consultation call booking link directly
@__drewface I'm generally a 15"+ inseam kind of guy but yeah if you're gonna go short go short
I agree on some level but it seems plausible to me that for some men they'll have more empathy with women by thinking of them as family than by thinking of them as self
put another way, it may be worth encouraging men to empathize & perspective-take directly with women, but (somewhat unlike the reverse direction, feminists argue) if they're not used to doing that you don't need to give them two new challenges at once!
rather than maintaining focus by guarding against my roommates as distractions, what if I maintain focus by welcoming my roommates into my awareness as beings who would love to exquisitely support my attention & intention? (to the extent they know how & remember)
Replying to @the_wilderless
@the_wilderless I'll bite! idk exactly what the deal is but I like spontaneous convos
Retweeted @IntendApp
The Intend daily workflow: 1. 😍 choose goal-oriented actions (set intentions) 2. 🔨 do stuff (pick a next action, set a timer…
@gptbrooke fyeah! and yeah as you get used to it you'll get way better at writing your intentions in a way that communicates well with your future self what it's all about so it feels doable
@gptbrooke have you checked out intend.do? it's very much geared around a daily workflow of choosing what to do, doing it, then seeing what you've done (also important as part of the feedback loop!)
@visakanv finally got a good graphic for this
@caesararum awesome. what was her old pfp again? cc @gptbrooke
@tracewoodgrains the unkillable meta-vibe
Thread · Resolving partner conflict through understanding, not normativity · 6 of 18 tweets
"My wife refuses to get rid of old sex videos she made with her ex" redditors are like "who is wrong in this situation, me for wanting this or her for wanting that" — wrong question. you each want what you want. what do you want together? comments are closed so here's a thread
people keep turning to the social world to answer questions, trying to get support for their viewpoint based on what's normal or normative normies, maybe
this seeking normalcy or normativity is a distraction from what will actually produce a resolution in this situation, which is: understanding your partner and helping them understand you
if you really got what the vids mean to her and she really got what the vids mean to you then it'd be clear what to do how could it be any other way?
but first you may have to allow the shock of discovering you're in a different world than you thought you were in and grieve the loss of that world you thought you were in
(she may also have to grieve that she's not in the world where it's not a big deal to you! she may have been assuming it wouldn't be, because it wouldn't be for her if she were in your position. turns out you're differenter than you thought!)
does anybody know the origin of the "'funner' is not a word" psy-op?
good breakdown of different "is/not a word" reactions in this @lingthusiasm podcast episode: - the Blobfish Reaction - the Funner Reaction - the Schadenfreude Reaction - the Ain't Reaction - the Mansplain Reaction cc @GretchenAMcC lingthusiasm.com/post/179488168…
German-speakers, do German spellcheckers allow for the composition of new long words, or what? they must function very differently than English spellcheckers (interestingly, despite the novelty of "spellcheck", it's in my dictionary with many suffixes)
Thread · Resolving partner conflict through understanding, not normativity · 7 of 18 tweets
anyway, having grieved that, you're left with a puzzle: we care about this a lot. we also both like our relationship. what do we do? what you need is humility: we don't actually know how much the other person cares, or why, and how it would change our own sense if we took it in
there's a good chance* that when you dig into what's going on for the other person, you'll find something you also care about and want to honor, even if just because they do (*if the relationship is otherwise pretty good and you're not already looking for an excuse to end it)
"Maybe I'm the delusional one. She was so passionate that I now sit here wondering if I'm missing something." You are ABSOLUTELY missing something. And so is she, if she can't understand why you're upset about it. But the thing you are missing cannot be found on the internet!
what you're missing is: - why what she's doing and saying actually makes sense to her - why it DOESN'T feel to her to be at odds with the marriage she has with you - what she means by "unfair" - ...undoubtedly more. only she can tell you this. but you have to listen
listening will be hard while you feel not understood about how upset you are. while she doesn't get you, everything she says will probably have a vibe of "and this is reasonable/appropriate" even as it sure doesn't feel that way to you! —doesn't mean she doesn't care about that!
in general, with listening, someone has to go first. this can create a paradox given how hard it is to listen while you feel like it's smashing against what you know the solution is to first fortify what you know by listening to yourself:
in this case, that looks like really being like "this matters to me! I'm not just gonna be 'whatever!' while I feel that she isn't holding her sexuality as being solely for me" (however it feels to you, which may not have that at its core!)
what about a subreddit that instead of /r/amiwrong or "Am I The Asshole?" is more about helping people take both perspectives on conflicty situations? would be way more wholesome in many cases
Thread · Resolving partner conflict through understanding, not normativity · 3 of 18 tweets
it might even involve talking to some close friends, who can empathize with how you feel about it without making her wrong. I wouldn't recommend reddit tho hey wait...
and then once you feel secure in your own view, that you're not going to lose touch with it if you take her point of view, you can turn to her and say "tell me about why this matters to you, and I'll do my best to listen"
and if it becomes hard again, you can say "hang on, I need a moment to affirm my own viewpoint better so that I can take in yours" and then do that until you can listen again
amazing vibe @fidei_email
I almost wanna sign up even though I'm not Christian*, because, well, my values are closer to Christianity's than they are to Google's! (*I'm some sort of weird experimental evolutionary memetics-oriented post-Christian whose full articulation does not fit in this margin)
@nameling1234 @natural_hazard yeah I resonate with both of these I think it'll become a lot better as AI art gets more tunable and more responsive to specific senses we have that'll make it easier to directly manifest the image we have in our minds (and ofc our best image will shift as we iterate)
Thread · Resolving partner conflict through understanding, not normativity · 1 of 18 tweets
one key element of listening to yourself can be to say to yourself (and mean) "I'm not just going to suck it up and put up with this feeling of upset forever. I'm going to find a way to resolve this one way or another." which hopefully will mean being heard by her/the marriage
you're not an asshole for wanting her to delete them. she's not an asshole for wanting to keep them. either of you becomes an asshole at the point when you insist that you get your way regardless of how the other feels.
Thread · Resolving partner conflict through understanding, not normativity · 1 of 18 tweets
oh man turns out the original thread IS open, so I went and left a comment there: reddit.com/r/amiwrong/com… it begins:
you're not an asshole for wanting what you want they're not an asshole for wanting what they want either of you becomes an asshole at the point when you insist that you get your way regardless of how the other feels.
@raluca_hippie yeah totally. we need more developmental resources stat, to handle this new psychic load I guess that's my call to step up to the plate and help people at some sort of scale
@youngprotean yup! I think unlikely but totally included. and it's possible that this will be a mutual thing or it's possible that it will be clear to one person before it's clear to the other. but it will just feel like the thing to do, not a confusing crazymaking chaosball
Retweeted @nosilverv
YES! SO MUCH THIS! People seek MORAL GUIDANCE from what is "normal" which conflates COMMON with CORRECT which is why a HUGE…
@nosilverv these tweets are part of the process of us developing ungaslightability-based memeplexes with strong egregoric defenses, that people adopt willingly because they like them (while changing them to suit better)
you're worried about racist neonazis or genderconfused cults trying to co-opt your kids ...I'm worried about my kids having adequate defenses against today's psychic megafauna we are not the same
re psychic megafauna (/ psychofauna for short)
@nosilverv go team
you accidentally click on For You and suddenly encounter all these psychofauna wyd
Retweeted @the_wilderless
I wanted trip reports, but for spiritual paths — like erowid for meditation So I made a page, wrote a somatic meditati…
@AlexKrusz @the_wilderless @KaliGeo @tasshinfogleman do iiiit!
> the Hero's Journey is not the only story structure. > It's only a monomyth in the way that a particular god is monotheistic — not by being the only one around, but by its disciples denying or brushing off all the other ones. — @the_wilderless
source: The Hero's Journey is a Jammed Door innerwilds.blog/p/the-heros-jo…
regular PSA: the "dia-" in "dialogue" does not mean "two" (which would be "di-") ...it means "through" (think "diagonal"). so 3+ people can be a dialogue. (the confusion comes from the contrast with "monologue", where "mono-" does mean "single, alone")
interestingly, this also highlights that you can have a dialogue with yourself, if you make sense of something through words! (whether I would also call this a monologue would depend on whether it was pulling in multiple perspectives or speaking just from one)
epic intro to John Locke's An Essay Concerning Human Understanding (1689)
which is freely readable here gutenberg.org/files/10615/10…
what hurts, hurts who it hurts
eyes
@TBagsMusings Zeitgeist means a different thing tho no?
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF your hurting matters, to you, because you matter to you this is true for all yous, and you are a you
@Evolving_Ego depends on if anything happens through the words
@nosilverv @OrphicCapital what we need are new sane egregores that respect people and are self-evidently friendly and invite people into saner relationship with the egregoric layer, which will forge yet more new friendly egregores out of the energy/cares that are currently serving anti-human ones
@nosilverv @OrphicCapital cc @aleksil79 @Morphenius @slimepriestess @itsjaneflowers @MattPirkowski @RichDecibels
@algekalipso a huge chunk of the part that's not equanimity and non-reactivity (I may disagree about whether that's an 80-20 split) is about learning how to renegotiate your relationship with egregores/superegos/gods/ideologies you don't have to just get coopted by them or ignore them!
@algekalipso I write in here a bit about the evolutionary pressures that have been on these structures for the past while, and how to find your own center and shift your relationship with them malcolmocean.com/2023/07/supere…
yall sleeping on this
Retweeted @loopholekid
want more of you to say crazy shit at the edge of comprehensibility
it should be possible to easily toggle internet permissions for individual apps on phones and computers airplane mode but allow specific channels to reach me
Retweeted @uncatherio
here I am again with the same realization but seriously no productivity technique can help you achieve your real felt prio…
@uncatherio this has been one of my biggest frustrations trying to build intend.do to help people achieve their real felt priorities... ...sometimes the system does manage to help, but sometimes people beat themselves up with it anyway
classic conversion of scapegoating the loser into scapegoating the outgroup a paradox at the core of christianity
@wurble also this! our lack of ability to do this is a huge part of what's so deranged about current media systems
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF not what I was getting at but also true although also hurting others often hurts oneself in ways people don't realize, and this hurt also hurts who it hurts
Replying to @RalphWaldo77
@RalphWaldo77 good point, Matthew 5:43-48 is one of my favorite passages used it at the experimental post-christian church service I hosted at vibeclipse actually
@RalphWaldo77 tho it seems to me that Jesus was... remarkably clear about this on some level, and yet also failed to name essentially that there could be another equivalent church that didn't have him in its lineage but did know the kingdom of god
"The Superior Virtue of the Oppressed" seems like an interesting deconstruction of one variation of the "bad is good tho" psy-op (haven't finished reading it) criticathink.wordpress.com/2018/04/11/the…
context on that:
> When men were worsted in this battle, they had to respect women, and therefore gave up offering them “reverence” as a consolation for inferiority.
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF in some sense what I'm saying applies there too ...but also yeah sure fine good point.
@aneeshm seems to me that most people who get legally/socially married don't actually achieve the becoming-one-flesh magic the main evidence I have of that in this case is about how they're talking to each other tho, not specifically about the old videos. how do you see it?
> Just deeply listen to themselves and to each other and wait for the surprises.
@hush_whisperer @Kirsten3531 @AbstractFairy yeah this is exactly what I'm getting at. I love how you both laid it out here
what resources would you direct someone to who is having trouble getting dates? context: I'm working on a landing page for a course on mating dances / falling sanely in love, and it doesn't AT ALL handle that but I'd like to be able to point such people somewhere helpful
@DanielTabakman ...that's true, but it's not the part I'm focused on!
Retweeted @soundrotator
People are SO interesting I have been talking to them for 30 years so far and they are still very interesting
can you, if you want to, take a 2h zoom call on a weekday during the ~9-5 hours? (context: I'm scheduling weekly calls for my upcoming Mating Dance course and I have no idea what's typical for people with jobs in the increasingly-remote work era)
@AbstractFairy I meant "in your own timezone", which is the relevant question for understanding how people's availability looks in this era but yeah in terms of actually booking, I'm aware that morning/midday pacific time is evening in europe etc
thanks for the votes on this! plz vote if you haven't already so I can feel good with my decision. scheduling stuff stresses me out since I'm always worried I'm just going to pick a really bad time
@inkolore_ keyword: shaolin
Retweeted @visakanv
agreed. there were so many branches on the tech aesthetic tree that were just senselessly abandoned
@visakanv all visakanv tweets are about how annoying it is to write but how oh wait I've had this insight before hang on this is why I play the long game right I'm already prepared with a quote for this moment because I've focused my time and energy on my aesthetic
@visakanv i gotchu fam
"if you can sustain a fun interesting playful dynamic environment long enough, and have some interest in value creation, eventually that primordial ooze will produce skyscrapers" — @visakanv
Retweeted @Malcolm_Ocean
can you, if you want to, take a 2h zoom call on a weekday during the ~9-5 hours? (context: I'm scheduling weekly calls…
getting real tired of your shit DALL-E
@jambarree huh, interesting. consistently as in "for a long period of time"? I'm thinking just like 4w in a row
@asemic_horizon top notch
Retweeted @tasshinfogleman
imagine that, a few weeks from now, u suddenly meet the perfect mentor for u. they have all the qualities and experien…
Retweeted @mbateman
Typical schools become increasingly bureaucratic with the age of the student. Instead of gradually, imperceptibly increasing…
Retweeted @a_few_d_of_f
It’s turtles all the way down
of course we all have blindspots and of course we're all constantly pointing them out to each other and of course we don't know how to listen to that pointing out
US people, call your Senator non-US people, RT, since this affects us all is this even constitutional?
there is no care from nowhere "there is no view from nowhere" applies to *ought*, not just *is*
hang out with your yang out
real virtuousness is virtuosity
talked with someone today who is kind of a skeptic of the value of group consciousness. and I'm like yeah I don't have good evidence it's valuable. ...now wondering what a good small but clear demo/test would be of my theories...
tired: pissing wired: in a flow state
based on reading Jane Jacobs, I wonder if this sort of implies that if a medium-sized country finds oil, it might actually do well to create a new currency for the region that has the oil, so the booming exchange rate doesn't tank local manufacturing etc
@viemccoy the benefit is clear in principle but the technology is currently where fusion was a decade ago or something the math checks out but there isn't a clear proof of concept that is net energy positive. it can do cool shit but can't yet do something tangible nothing else can.
@wholesom3boi afaict sometimes it's not improvement, it's getting tangled in knots and yeah, we'll eventually integrate all that into the upward spiral, but blanket injunctions to stick around when it feels rough are sus imo
@aleksil79 I mean "mating" is sort of a synonym for "fucking"
@aleksil79 but it doesn't reject the word "mating" every time. I would assume "kissing" is fine... yeah this works: > a man and a woman kissing in an infinite hall of mirrors
interestingly (not that interestingly) DALL-E does not have any introspective access to the content policy. like it's not surprising; it's a separate system so it goes "huh weird" and just tries again
@aleksil79 re "mating" = "fucking"... it successfully understands that this is pornographic: (but it gives a different, much more explicit error)"
@aleksil79 haha lol
just burst out laughing remembering that time I installed a fake security cam in my dorm and the school staff freaked out
A, B, C, D, ..., W, X, Y being equal, [this thing] is about Z
fascinating comparison of: - 🧸 transitional objects (safety blankets, teddy bears.,) - 📱 technologically mediated communication (phone calls, texting, AI.,) every.to/chain-of-thoug…
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF there is a ton of real data there though, onto which any given person will project something different and some possibility of syncing up about the meaning of such data, to some degree of satisfaction
Retweeted @AskYatharth
if you're checking your phone in between tasks when you have a few seconds off, it's your co-regulation device, not your i…
this is generally my practice when at all possible. highly sanity-making
new EA cause area: get Christopher Alexander's out-of-print magnum opus back into print and widely available
@jakozloski time to update the FAQ 👀🤭
fascinated by "shrug phrases" "beats me" "search me" "your guess is as good as mine"
@SP1NS1R @visakanv @_TamaraWinter yeah Timeless Way of Building might be an easier place to start than the 4-volume letter-sized-paper giant that is The Nature of Order
Replying to @PicoPaco17
@PicoPaco17 @LudditeHacker this isn't about how it's "programmed" but about how LLMs are basically just doing improv in a scene and the kinds of words you use inevitably set the context of that scene
@jonnym1ller @ConsciousLG my Non-Naive Trust Dance work can be seen as bridging the By Me and Through Me in that it's about how "just trust" as part of surrender is at best naive and at worst a psy-op
Retweeted @jonnym1ller
I believe we're entering a cultural narrative shift of personal development from 1.0 (control-based) to 2.0 (unfolding-bas…
Retweeted @LambdaP
@jonnym1ller @ConsciousLG Now seems like a good time to mention that the original meaning of "evolution" is literally "unfoldi…
drew a hand today, on a whiteboard
@mattgoldenberg interested but if you're anything like me you might find it more motivating to finish the book (or at least a draft) before you let anybody read it
@mayfer LLMs are only the left hemisphere neocortex at best
@mayfer vibes with this trippy post:
@mapgie @annethegnome @ishirubi
@EricNewcomer @anuatluru I love 5-minute phone calls but only if I'm not having to plan my day around them. spontaneously being called or spontaneously calling someone else can be great though
I want a term for "girlfriend"/"boyfriend" but that specifically implies that people are courting, rather than dating indefinitely 🤔 ...ie someone who is on track to soon become either fiancée or ex
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 3 of 17 tweets
I want a term for "girlfriend"/"boyfriend" but that specifically implies that people are courting, rather than dating indefinitely 🤔 ...ie someone who is on track to soon become either fiancée or ex ideas??
I noticed this while making a few edits to this post, which opens "In which I answer 6 questions from a friend about". That friend is now my wife, and we were courting at the time. I considered editing it to "girlfriend" but it didn't really feel right. malcolmocean.com/2022/08/nntd-q…
"the woman I'm courting" is a little long but pretty much fully accurate and depending on how you want to play the gender roles, the converse could either be "the man I'm courting" or "the man who's courting me" (or "a", if your courtship process is non-exclusive)
@uncatherio that's not the issue; the post has a date on it, people wouldn't notice the edit it's more... we barely said "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" at the time. like basically only as a way to be legible to strangers, eg "my boyfriend's waiting for me"
@rob_mcrobberson suitee?
@wizardofux we weren't yet exclusive then though related:
@ScarletAstrorum @anonynaut good answer tbh
@HiddenAlleys haha delightful
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 2 of 17 tweets
while we're at it, here's a sneak preview of a course I'm running next month on deeply listening to yourself throughout the courtship process so you can confidently commit or quit: mating.nonnaivetrust.dance
"partner track", created by @SanjayNadaraja in collaboration with @jtbooth1021 who suggested prefixing "tenure track" "wife-track girlfriend"? 🤭
@mvongutt I liked this until I looked it up for more context and uhh
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 1 of 17 tweets
@SanjayNadaraja @jtbooth1021 @ScarletAstrorum suggests simply "fiancé(e)":
@DanseurTabby @LifespanDevelop nice. you might dig this 👇 (I would consider "engagement" as a proto-commitment to being together)
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 1 of 17 tweets
I don't quite think that works, but if it did it would work best if you followed Tabby's progression here where you go from talking to (privately?) engaged altho wait but if it's private you still can't say fiancée 🙃
@AskYatharth it was done with my live hand, too, not a photo! had to keep holding it in that position / get it back there and make sure not to mess up how the light was changing from the window too much
@AskYatharth can I see one of your hands?
@mimoosworld thanks! I'm lowkey quite proud of it haven't really made a sincere attempt at drawing a hand since my teens probably
painful to go on subreddits and see so many people struggling with conceptual dilemmas I feel I've solved, and not have the time to write a thoughtful reply to each of them tempts me to train an LLM 🤔
@jessicamalonso thank you
Retweeted @jessicamalonso
I have so many friends who work so incredibly hard to be so wonderfully skillful at emotions and relationships and grow…
@jessicamalonso thinking about how some techniques or approaches fail gracefully / are made to produce "the best results given your skill level" whereas others sort of are all or nothing / a big bet on being able to get it right
@jessicamalonso your unskillfulness or others unskillfulness?
@jessicamalonso reminds me of my writing on the meta-protocol of like: what do you do when the protocol breaks down? malcolmocean.com/2021/11/meta-p…
@jessicamalonso yeah. part of what I keep highlighting is that the default state is "protocols, if any, have broken down"
40% of people predicted right (assuming this Q was about what's going to matter in the coming years)
Jesus is a very good role model but only if you have other role models too to balance various things out
Replying to @Nechama12345
@Nechama12345 @mvongutt yeah tho arranged marriages are in some sense the opposite of courtship
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 1 of 17 tweets
"seeing" is one of the closer ones practically speaking. there isn't quite a noun form but that's okay. (seer & see-ee? lol) I could imagine changing the "a friend" in my blog post to "the woman I'm seeing" and that would feel basically right
@alcentian_one yeah good point
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 1 of 17 tweets
interesting. "talking" feels to me like zoomer slang for a teenage situationship where nobody really knows where they stand—not at all serious (I've barely heard people use it, to be clear)
@a_tiny_orange good point re partner/spouse/queer
@AvianFang_HS maybe, or might just be how people use it in your circles! I had lots of unserious girlfriends in my teens, and then later was poly for awhile and used "partner" or "girlfriend" for people I was seeing, with no sense of marriage relevant fwb... feels more casual, pick up & drop
@AvianFang_HS like for me it's like... you don't have to break up with a fwb, you can just kinda stop seeing them or have it fade away girlfriend/boyfriend there's an expectation that you'll be a certain amount of involved until a breakup, but not necessarily a sense of direction
Replying to @HarrisBalling
@HarrisBalling haha nice
Replying to @TeacherTrishSNE
@TeacherTrishSNE we were still uncertain at that stage tho! still sensing into it. but it was definitely an "if all goes well, marriage" (which it did—she's my wife now)
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 1 of 17 tweets
well and here's the real issue tbh or from another angle: some people want to maintain ambiguity and they'll mess with clear distinctions
@canering you're basically right haha. I'm a word nerd and like to think about subtle connotations of things and I'm on a bit of a mission to get people to more clearly disambiguate between dating indefinitely and courting
Replying to @obamabuttplug
@obamabuttplug wait but what are the connotations of "talking"? does it imply specifically that you're marriage-track or bust? I would have assumed otherwise but maybe I'm out of the loop
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 1 of 17 tweets
> "no one dates indefinitely" I did for years, and I see lots of people doing this (without even really realizing they are) and it's why I'm in this thread trying to untangle the terminology in the first place! twitter.com/JosephFrogman/…
@JosephFrogman bro I'm happily married now and having fun being curious on the internet you're insulting strangers and making Christianity look bad
@the_wilderless anything we can do to help tilt the scale towards spectacular rebirth?
@tresterese Double congrats!
@exgenesis @visakanv oh snap that subtitle is relevant to my interests!
@visakanv Finally shipped the course I mentioned, on falling sanely in love and choosing who to commit to, and listening to yourself the whole way through so you can tell you're choosing wholeheartedly! My first paid offering directly about NNTD stuff! mating.nonnaivetrust.dance
(NNTD, for those unfamiliar, is Non-Naive Trust Dance, my framework for how developing trust involves respecting all distrust in yourself and others — that if you seem to have trust but it didn't do that, it's fake and fragile and that's how you get explosions and divorces)
@MasterTimBlais underrated option
guessing is a kind of trying
there is no prescription there is only description and how Desire navigates with a better description
@nowtheo weird take, not sure if I even buy it myself: if a part is really not you (/ not of you) then it's like a fly: you can just open the window and it might bomp around a bit but eventually it'll find its way out
@erikfromalaska I like this and will probably do it as well I'm still unclear whether this is the same sense of "guessing" as in my initial tweet
Retweeted @utotranslucence
It's me, a psychonaut, reporting on the experience of reaching new depths of love: autotranslucence.wordpress.com/2024/04/16/in-…
"but I don't care about morality. I care about the trash that's on the ground!" youtube.com/watch?v=ct94en…
@RiverKanies depends on what suffering means afaict
@nowtheo vague guess that some difference between internal/external might be whether it's bubbling up as a direct solution to your own problem vs installed at the superego layer
I bet @algekalipso has thoughts on why these geometric patterns would show up
@AnneSelke @utotranslucence Thanks 😊😉
Retweeted @Morphenius
"Get in your body" is weaksauce. BE "the body". What the heck is talking like it's trying to "get into" me? Oh. Thoughts…
@optimalstring @Morphenius I recall a story of a guy who did this with a camera he held in his hand, and it gave him the experience of being held gently by a giant which caused some sort of huge insight or shift or maybe even religious experience
Replying to @realmattcarr
@realmattcarr but Matt, the sweater is holy! it says so right there in the description!
@myceliummage @maybegray I read this as "congrats perhaps!" and was like "well I guess that makes sense given there's still uncertainty..." then I saw another person had commented the same thing and I was like "wait a sec OH" 🤦♀️ anyway congrats indeed on making it this far and good luck with the rest!
@nosilverv you can't evaluate everything on your own directly, but you can evaluate others' expertise without having the same expertise, based on eg: - to what extent do they seem to learn from criticism? - how clear are their trains of thought? - do they just parrot or freshly remix anew?
Retweeted @exgenesis
5. Holy trinity: the father is the platonic ideal of agapic love, the son is the instantiation in each of us, acting fro…
this explains why now that I'm happily married I'm like "damn apparently it's time to start a church" (fuck these cut-off QTs. here's a screenshot so you can see the whole thing)
@exgenesis this is all awesome this bit makes me think that part of the path may be a kind of bespoke memetic payload, presenting different versions of the ideas to eg left/right people, that contain the same underlying seed to avoid having the underlying seed become politicized
Retweeted @exgenesis
31. Etymology really really matters "meaning is usage" is completely false, if you know the greek and latin roots of terms…
something I look out for is the difference between "apparently" and "allegedly" apparently = as it appears to me allegedly = as someone else claimed if you didn't see it with your own eyes, don't say "apparently"
studying etymology fills the world with SONG
@exgenesis anyway dude let's have a call sometime and triangulate the hyperobject record it, throw it on youtube to be digested further
this captcha is a joke
you care about what you care about
Thread · A collection of useful tautologies · 2 of 18 tweets
implied is "not what you think you care about or what you think you should care about or what someone else thinks you should care about"
that one is really a whole class of tautology Healing from trauma amounts to learning that it is okay to know what you know, and feel what you feel. — Bessel van der Kolk ...in a sense, it must be okay, because it's so!
for something to work for both people, it needs to work for both people
Thread · A collection of useful tautologies · 1 of 18 tweets
in order for X to happen, the conditions for X to happen must happen
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF yeah I initially thought one of the curvy arrows was gonna be a mirror of the others, but then they were all counterclockwise!
Replying to @JimDuxhette
@JimDuxhette it's not about the eyes (although "appear" does have deep roots in seeing) except insofar as eyes are metaphorically "own senses" ears are metaphorically "hearsay"/"words of others" other people often don't reveal, they claim. but they could be making up shit!
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF yeah, sometimes you can't figure out how to have the self you want to have without a context to have it in. in his manifesto Xiq notes that probably mutually supporting circles (inward and outward) is probably better than primarily outward
@EthanReeder cool to come across a tweet in searching, from back before we knew each other 😊
@EthanReeder > getting last bits of work in before a company retreat, even though all deadlines are internal this one can be good if not too stressful; satisfying and ultimately more effective to close loops before shifting contexts
Replying to @jonas_hellman
@jonas_hellman what do you mean "caring is not a factor"?
Thread · Falling in love as a common knowledge cascade · 13 of 14 tweets
falling in love as a common knowledge cascade this old tweet gradually blew my mind in the background and now I can't stop seeing courtship in terms of mating dances
a common knowledge cascade is when new info revealed on one side reveals new info from the other, & so on consider early moves of romance, from strangers to a first kiss. the info that this would happen was there but had to be drawn out in order
it seems to me it goes further. if you keep opening & revealing, you get two people looking at each other and together simultaneously having a vivid shared sense of “you are my life mate” (and the shared future that implies for the two of you in particular, such as kids)
.....or... you get the common-knowledge realization that it's not a fit. which can feel like mutual clarity or can feel like utter heartbreak but if you keep opening & revealing until you can't any more, then one way or another you find out
unlike birds, human mating dances can take months or years, and they involve way more elements: - biological (does he smell good? does she look healthy?) - cultural (does he share my religion? is she well-educated?) - logistical (where will we live?) - &+
to complicate matters further, what humans expect of our mating dances differs between individuals and cultures. different people expect different steps, or in different orders! sex before marriage, or marriage before sex? either can work, but you can't do both!
fortunately, you don't need to deal with everyone's mating dance, but if you're courting someone, you need to resolve all of this between the two of you! and in a way, that itself is the dance 😉💃
there are a bunch of common ways the mating dance can get messed up though! one of them is by ignoring something you care about because it feels like you shouldn't care about it
another kind of mating dance mis-step is to make a sacrifice to the Time Being by eg moving in together when they kinda know they're not good candidates for getting married.
a third way mating dances get messed up is that something that wasn't a problem in eg month two generates fear/dealbreaker vibes when considering getting married, but people don't know how to go back and repair it eg a fight or betrayal or misunderstanding you never resolved
some of these are potentially recoverable, but it's possible that eg under the fight is actually a deep conflict in values that you don't want embedded in the foundation of what's intended to be a lifelong commitment so best to sort that out... before committing.
navigating all of this requires not getting so caught up in the relationship that's happening that you lose sight of the kind of relationship you want to have for life and whether or not this one feels like it's heading towards being that one
if you're keen to learn how to mating dance gracefully, I'm running a course on it next month! I don't have your answers, but I can guide you to noticing them in you learn more & sign up here: mating.nonnaivetrust.dance/?tw=MO1
Have you done enough “dating indefinitely” and want to get real about courting? Join The Mating Dance: graceful courtship at every step My online course on how to navigate the trust-dance that is falling in love. First cohorts: May 7, 14, 21, 28 👇
here's a thread on the mating dance metaphor for courtship, talking about ways in which we are and are not like birds and some common ways human mating dances go awry!
Retweeted @Morphenius
I just love Malcolm's stuff on relationships. It's clear, feels right, and has helped me a LOT. I'll share a few things ab…
@dogfightin2 @phonedropper yeah seriously let me know if you guys figure it out
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 1 of 17 tweets
a good point about using "courting" in a sense it is a stage but it's a stage defined by its direction rather than its location
@relic_radiation probably because of my ✨💖 subliminal messaging❗️🌟 ...with this earlier tweet
@GrnMntnBldr most applies pretty directly: there's still pair-bonding and reciprocal opening that happens in poly relationships still a quality of "oh, if you feel that way about me, then now I feel this way!" that unfolds towards deeper intimacy and commitment
1) you're a friendly and thoughtful curmudgeon! 2) there's gonna be curmudgeons, if I can find the signal in their noise, more signal for me 😎
@lumpenspace but also I'm following the attitude of "haters are fans too"
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 1 of 17 tweets
anyway! I have now officially launched my courtship course, so if you resonate with the sense of wanting to shift your sense of relationship from "boyfriend"/"girlfriend" towards "person I'm courting" (whatever you call it) then check it out:
@dschorno @joodalooped @freeshreeda @soundrotator holy shit you can do scroll-based animation with pure CSS now? eyeing your sheriff star
Retweeted @EthanReeder
Malcolm is deeply skilled in sensing th path to group coherence and trust. Turns out this applies to dating. Love can mov…
@aleksil79 🤣🤣🤣 feels related to my wife's tweet about the postmodernity tax, on figuring out what even relationships are
"nobody does this" — guy replying to tweet where a bunch of people are resonating with me saying people do a thing
@aneeshm @utotranslucence look man I tried using the phrase "due diligence" in my course landing page but my editor (also me) said I had to rephrase it mating.nonnaivetrust.dance
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 1 of 17 tweets
some suggestions from my wife: since twitter now truncates even <280-char quoted tweets, here's the last bit: > I also like lover, beloved, my love etc for this stage, bc it emphasises the romance of the relationship without specifying the contract
@a_tiny_orange yeah I didn't mean manipulative per se, tho I did mean "exploitable by those wanting to manipulate" in some sense I actually meant more "naive"
@relic_radiation what are some of the questions/etc on your mind around this? I'd love inspiration to write more threads! (also I love how you're framing it in terms of unfolding. very much the vibe)
@m_ashcroft thanks! I appreciate your candor 😛
great simple case study about how LLMs aren't control systems. they don't have goals, ie negative-feedback closed-loop seeking behavior you can try to put their intelligence inside such a loop, but that's not its nature
@visakanv okay I have a proper announcement tweet now:
Thread · Selling out a first course cohort, seat by seat · 1 of 7 tweets
ah man got my first sale on the new course I just launched what a good feeling. LFG! 29/30 seats remaining
@WilliamWatson @utotranslucence ah, so implied in "courting", from your perspective, is that the man is already a fuckyeah to marrying the woman, but wants to woo her a bit more before proposing? (implied is that she IS still sussing him out?) is that right? or am I missing you?
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 1 of 17 tweets
I find it fascinating how people end up with a sense of words having exactly the opposite connotations! (also when they assume their meanings are universal. my guess is that a lot of this is subcultural stuff, eg how adjacent to queer contexts where partner~=spouse)
@WomanCorn something beautiful about that do you happen to know more of the context of that?
@uncatherio using intend.do daily to log not just my to-dos (ie things I haven't done) but also anything else relevant I did towards my colored goals (these extra items denoted with a + in front, below) helps me have a pretty clear overview (in my head too) of what I'm doing
@uncatherio this tweet from @RomeoStevens76 blew my mind
Thread · Being loved well as attachment healing · 1 of 7 tweets
people be like "heal your attachment stuff so you can get a partner" and like sure but honestly the thing that healed me most was my now-wife wanting to marry me
@relic_radiation ah yeah I secretly think that a lot of the healing can just happen in relationship. the only reason to wait would be if you were totally unclear what kind of person you are or what kind of life you want
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF I agree, it seems to me it's wayy more intertwingled than "people are morally responsible for their own actions and not each others'"
Replying to @jonas_hellman
@jonas_hellman sounds like gaslighting yourself
Replying to @jonas_hellman
@jonas_hellman > If i want to learn piano, its irrelevant if i care or dont care maybe we're just using the word "care" completely differently. in my lexicon, I care about what I want, so if I want something, I care about it.
@aleksil79 @nowtheo oh yeah I agree. in practice I've found my mind usually let these sorts of things in much earlier/younger and the way in has already been patched months or years ago
@aleksil79 I mean if you're in sync enough with their other person that their claim causes your sense of the world to change, then I might consider "apparently" acceptable there
@AskYatharth nice! I kinda dig how the finger segments look like parts of an insect body
@AskYatharth share the skulls too!
@uncatherio alive in the dissipative system sense. also vibes with christopher alexander
@rahshank @visakanv wow cool to come back to this with newer AI tech and see the possibilities!
@mattgoldenberg @viemccoy yeah by "consciousness" here I'm referring to something that's more awake and self-aware not just "group coordination"
to be clear, I'm not just talking about "can groups do things individuals can't?" obviously yes I'm talking about whether having a sense of se-space, collective awakeness, etc, majorly contributes to what they're capable of
@lisatomic5 knew it was a thing but had mostly witnessed the failure mode of groups getting sort of circlejerkular and not able to actually orient to doing things which to be fair is really common
@taharveyconsult > After a career in medical device & clinical trials, I’m not going to try and ‘convince’ anyone haha legit. I'm not set on convincing true skeptics, but I think a certain kind of more hard evidence could be possible
@AbstractFairy 1. group consciousness... when a group of people gets into a mode that is awake and self-aware and able to consider wide ranges of things knowingly the equivalent of a person going off narrow autopilot and into spacious "what shall I do? ah, this"
@AbstractFairy 2: yeah an example of the kind of demo/test would be if I could make a notable difference in team performance on basically any task, with a surprisingly small or unusual intervention
@AbstractFairy 3: true although that hardly seems like a good small demo
@pragueyerrr @AbstractFairy hii!! also Ms G if you have graduates from your coaching who are like "now I'm flirting great but I have no idea how to figure out if this person is a good match I want to commit to" then send 'em my way (to me personally, or to my course)
@aneeshm @RomeoStevens76 yeah I've been prototyping a new church and my frame on it is that it has christianity in its lineage (we even read from the bible!) like christianity has judaism in its lineage—it's not the old thing, isn't just a variety of the old thing, isn't beholden to the old thing
@mattgoldenberg @viemccoy well, the thing I mean is when the individual awakeness can touch the collective awakeness and mutually recognize each other which is not a thing I really see happening with countries and individuals
@uberstuber ah man that's a great point, me too tho also my friend's family had a real estate biz with a home office, so when I went over I could often use one of his parents' computers while he used his computer
@RichDecibels @Jairo_YamoT okay damn legit, I see what you're getting at
@aleksil79 @AskYatharth @forthrighter amazing
Retweeted @RomeoStevens76
@nosilverv People do not see God in their direct sensory environment. God is no longer immanent. God becomes a private…
@alex_with_ease @TylerAlterman yeah. inspired in part by your (Tyler's) phrase "fractal altruism" I started a doc last year titled "towards Fractal Altruism or some other Post-EA thing" where I started collecting thoughts haven't gone far with it. lmk if you want to contribute, either of you
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF ...I don't actually think you have moral independence. you're still in the clutches of Calvinist morality, which is convincing you you're SUPPOSED to have moral independence while then obviously insisting it'll punish you later if you do it wrong.
@_rossry I love that one! totally the sort of thing I'm looking for (should have said "Jesus counts") (and while I'm at it I'm open to songs from non abrahamic god perspectives)
@kevinsimler for those looking for Simon's tweet/thread on common knowledge cascades, it has unfortunately been deleted long ago but I reconstructed part of it in this thread and there's more convo on the origin of the phrase in the replies:
Retweeted @utotranslucence
In the last ~2yrs, I've watched as dozens of friends flipped from 'I want a relationship/relationships that feels good…
@prerationalist huh like they have some sort of loop that represents what weights were active while the earlier stuff got generated? that still seems super weird though since they don't exactly "choose" which path to go down; it's random based on temperature, no?
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF yeah this seems pretty apt! cc @Morphenius re your "I am my body" stuff
mere training quantity/quality isn't relevant. it's whether it has any access to its earlier thought process, beyond being able to read what was output my understanding is that current LLMs just don't have access, so they implicitly replace "how did you arrive at X?" with "how do you imagine you arrived at X?"
humans definitely do this sometimes but there's at least the possibility they're actually introspecting moreoever, you can ask a human "did you come up with the answer like this?" and they can compare it with a memory and go "no, it was more like that". even if low-fi
Thread · LLMs rationalize rather than report their reasoning · 2 of 6 tweets
people saying that people do this. sometimes, yes. but also if I'm like "did you write your tweet by consulting a magic mirror?" you can remember that no, you did something else. the AI can only guess.
kept thinking of this tweet while reading the replies
@RomeoStevens76 @m_ashcroft our household has multiple instant pots and it's pretty great. we don't often use both but when we want to... yes
@m_ashcroft bahaha amazing this is absolutely parallel-universe me
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF jokes on them I didn't read any of those replies literally just discovering them now
Thread · Screenshotting insults, worldview clashes, and charitable replies
couple months ago I tried pointing out to someone who had screenshotted a bunch of racist insults against them, that they gave them 400k views idk how I found the original tweet but clearly it was WAY outside of the kind of culture we have around here. all responses against me
like I guess it's interesting to me that if I tweeted that in a @visakanv-familiar scene, people would be like "ah of course, oops" then there are contexts where if I tweeted the exact same reply I bet people would be like "huh, never thought of it that way" but here? hell naw.
one of the replies was about how the OP was fully justified in tweeting what she did if you're seeing things in terms of social reality, entitlements, etc, then ofc my move would function as calling her out, not just pointing at inherent consequences probably part of the issue
interestingly that same person also referred to me as gaslighting her I guess implied by my tweet could be that she shouldn't seek validation for her views? ahh or that I was insinuating that her intent was to spread the racist views? I did say "inadvertently" but who's checking
once again, I am being exceedingly charitable with people who I will in this case charitably call curmudgeons
this is how I roll; I like taking perspectives and getting a sense of what worldviews look like from the inside (idk if I'd quite say "evil" in this case to be clear)
also to some extent ofc I'm looking at the view of the psychofauna, vs as an individual replier's experience which probably feels mostly like contraction and fury and fear and negation
@TbilisiHodl @RichDecibels right I missed that part tho bought back in a bit at like 300-500 later that year, tried ~day-trading and made a few hundred dollars. complete waste of time/money/attention, then sold to pay for school wasn't thinking very clearly
@mlbaggins well you could just disagree with him from the outset, and then you would be a different creature who might be a rationalist for yet other reasons
Replying to @RalphWaldo77
@RalphWaldo77 that's definitely uhhh... not the plan but I could imagine if I ran this enough (especially in person) that it could happen!
@eshear ummm... I don't believe in "objects as they really are" so in that sense no but it seems to me that experience is shockingly-intimately pressed right up against everything, so "indirect" doesn't feel adequate
I'm not very familiar with the names of these particular schools of thought in philosophy of perception, but if I had to pick one of {i/d realism, the following 5} I would roll with enactivism I've read a few chapters of Enactive Psychiatry and it's very good
discourse is on about direct realism and indirect realism and so on I favour Don Hoffman's IToP, which is obviously opposed to direct realism but seems to me trippier & yet saner than indirect realism. thoughts?
@eshear but despite only somewhat engaging with existing literature about this, I feel that I have a relatively well-developed and mature sense of things here, and don't feel confused by the sorts of paradoxes that tend to show up in discourse about it still infancy at articulating it
@eshear Don Hoffman's Interface Theory of Perception is the most recent bit that tied it all together for me last year pointed out that I was erroneously separating "experiencer" and "experienced" but there's just experience and experience is interface
Thread · Counter-entitlement and the demand to be interfaced with
yeah there's a move that I might call "counter-entitlement", which is a flavor of victimhood where someone makes themselves hard to interface with then gets annoyed when people don't want to interface with them because it's not fair because they tolerated others' bs for so long
typically shows up in oppressed people, by which I would include minorities and women the canonical refrain is "it's not our job to educate you". or "we shouldn't have to always be one of the good ones" & this is entirely true! a moral demand that they interface well is fucked
I feel inclined to name that also one of my main case studies of this pattern is not a minority or woman but a guy who was abused a fuckton as a kid and keeps whining at the status hierarchy basically saying that's not fair and asking when it'll be his turn to be abusive
@aneeshm in both cases like yeah, what happened to you was fucked up, and we want to build a world that sets things right, and there's a separate question of whether what you want in this moment is for your pain to be eased or for it to be righteous
@aneeshm and it's not that I'm saying that I have an entitlement to listen to others' pain when it presents itself to me abrasively or in ways that cause me pain but I might not wanna. I might not bother. I might feel like doing something else instead and do it instead
@aneeshm and yes, in doing that, I am exercising my de facto power to do so but (in my books) that's not moral superiority any more than it's moral superiority when a bird flies away if you run at it.
yo 18 people bookmarking this, do you actually return to your bookmarks, or is that wishful thinking? if you want to make a point of checking out the course, feel free to reply to the tweet or DM me and I can ping you about it (I'll be polite about it & back off if you want)
yo 21 people bookmarking this, do you actually return to your bookmarks, or is that wishful thinking? if you want to make a point of checking out the course, feel free to reply to the tweet or DM me and I can ping you about it (I'll be polite about it & back off if you want)
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF @aneeshm I mean I definitely have noticed that. but the pattern of counter-entitlement is still a thing I've noticed in you, that's just the most extreme form of it
@HephaistosF @aneeshm anyway. I know that in a lot of other ways you're doing your best to interface and you're understandably frustrated when people won't cut you slack given how little slack you already have
@eshear probably couldn't have done that if I hadn't been steeped in a bit of buddhism and maybe in particular some Rob Burbea stuff and also a bunch of other various weirder investigations of my own into the nature of collective perception. as in eg this talk youtube.com/watch?v=pXyuxI…
@visakanv @nelag this is amazing also how have there not been another dozen updates to this thread in the last 2y?
Replying to @thom_ivy_1
@thom_ivy_1 huh, say more?
@VividVoid_ brand new course, just launched today! for those who are done with dating indefinitely, and (while maybe still nervous) stoked to commit once they can tell who to commit to mating.nonnaivetrust.dance/?tw=void
@DaystarEld @Aella_Girl @TylerAlterman "spot on" in the sense that it would hold up under a bit of inspection, rather than being based on a simple confusion or misunderstanding trust-sense is about the relationship between observed & observer
"qualified" and "certified" are different in a similar way "qualified" means capable "certified" means someone else said they were capable
@shajedulkarim_ huh, this is kinda cool. how's the business going now? hmmm... looks like site is down :(
@SaraBollman gotta recommend this piece by @RomeoStevens76, as a good start for loosening assumptions about what words mean when translated neuroticgradientdescent.blogspot.com/2020/01/mistra…
@xuenay @Morphenius these are good replies and I'm updating somewhat, thanks!
@uncatherio major feature request tbh. should be pretty simple, compared to all of the advanced tech under the hood
@MatjazLeonardis if there are hundreds of dimensions (which in reality there are, unlike in closed games where there aren't) then there basically aren't any points that are a local maximum on all dimensions
nice. sometimes declaring something a safe space actually works as a magic spell, but when it doesn't, it backfires, so I wouldn't recommend it as a move
@MJPiercello @paul__is__here random prompt: what do you see as the bottleneck for people adopting your LoRC idea? (on whatever scale seems most relevant)
got good responses to this prompt and would love to see more! gonna tag some people—go reply to the original tweet though, not this one with the tags in it! @visakanv @aleksil79 @slimepriestess @Morphenius @cube_flipper @itsjaneflowers @Liu_eroteme @MattPirkowski @exgenesis
@aleksil79 @jd_pressman some @AndrewCutler13 shit? cc @Morphenius
Replying to @vivekt17
@vivekt17 @askekjaer what does the audience have to do with it? do things flow when you DO have an audience? what sort of audience do you need? could you get one?
@WoohkaStylie @Morphenius ahh beautiful. yeah. you can just have the pain of not being free, instead.
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF ah I often don't check my notifs for a long time (in this case >2mo) MVP sounds like you figure there are people out there who'd be into paying for it in its current form, as it iterates. so the Qs are: do you know who they are? do you know where they are? how do they find out?
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF I feel like this often! every day I wish I had other people marketing my stuff. and, for the most part, I don't have that, so I'm doing my best to figure it out myself
interesting new video claims that bird wings evolved for brooding young before being exapted for flight (and has some decent evidence to support this!) youtube.com/watch?v=371WvR…
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF yeah, that sucks. I just got barely enough traction on the course I launched today to feel encouraged. and I noticed resistance from hangups about whether it's even safe to approach learning the relevant skills here (re marketing etc). I can only imagine you have 100×
@JoachimBrackx it's a goddamn shame and I'll be on the rearguard but the evolution of language has already stolen "really" and "very" and "truly" as intensifiers so I don't have a lot of hope here
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF yes, and I choose to, on the margin, associate with people who don't ally with those goals
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF I was legit trying to encourage you with my response here, the way I would anyone... thinking through how to find the first people to buy your thing I'm sorry it touched the pain
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF tweet more about the character builder sheet and how it works and why it's cool, see if anyone bites? (not that dissimilar to how I'd approach selling it tbh) I don't D&D really but I'm a spreadsheet nerd and would enjoy seeing how it works
@elonmusk it's a specific instance of the more general error "bad is good actually"
really deep principle of evolution in this I will try to name it (in its true tautological form) at some point but for now I'm going to sleep!~
@RafaRuizdeLira DALL-E: DJ set at the panopticon it refused to put all the people in the cells tho (also @hormeze this feels like your vibe)
@iamapostol what feels particularly resonant to you about it?
@sandra_sobanska 💪 really proud of getting it live
@visakanv @RichDecibels new beatboxer on the scene
@kevinsimler yeah, not in so many words but yeah
Replying to @selentelechia
@selentelechia @averykimball you can get all sorts of uranium glass products on etsy! (screenshot shows mostly art/jewelry but they also have dishware and things like a citrus juicer (which I reasoned was unwise because the acids would leech the uranium)) etsy.com/search?q=urani…
@jessicamalonso There's a carnal erotic desire towards my wife: wanting to make life with her. There's a fascinated desire to watch minds go from blooming buzzing confusion into people I can make sense of things with. There's a simple desire for a hearth, family, sharing my culture & love.
@nosilverv seems to me that with a small amount of reputation-network it would be possible to manage some of these, although our systems aren't well set up for this kind of permissioning
@earth___worm got 'em 😉 I've DM'd you seeing "Joined April 2024" ...also welcome to twitter!
Thread · The perpetual conversation: a never-ending sensemaking room
💡🔥 idea: the perpetual conversation 💬🗨️ a zoom room that has at least 2 people in it at all times, making sense of what's going on in the world on various timescales, and others can fishbowl or join the conversation themselves, or check in with it
I think this could be a brilliant performance art project that would also be meaningful and helpful if done well like a fire that is kept going forever, but for conversation ...but there are many challenges.
one challenge is that you'd need... minimum 6 people in different timezones doing it full-time+ (8h/day not including weekends) more people means less time per person but also means less continuity, more catching people up. but could get v good at that.
another challenge is like... moderating who gets to join for what period of time if you had the right medium, I could imagine something where people could share something in chat, then be invited to speak
huh. you could use current AI tech to like, digest the last 1-30h of conversation into a summary on the scale of 30s-5mins, and the summary could vary depending on who is receiving it—like different things would be relevant to me than to you
honestly a funny technical challenge would just be... allowing people to not be at a desk all day but out in the sun, walking, etc... without that messing up the audio quality too badly. good enough mics might fix it. with this level of commitment, worth paying $$$ for core ppl
if this were going well, it could be a lovely context for co-what-now'ing people could come in with what's feeling alive for them, then stick around to sense-make or go off to work on their project, feeling how it's plugged in with the whole malcolmocean.com/2022/05/aiming…
cultivating superorganism vision on large scale
we could realize a denser, more out-loud version of this edge-of-collective-consciousness sense
@nosilverv there's a sort-of-performance-art thing I've been excited about for awhile that's something like— fine I'll just write an initial thread about it:
@strangestloop ahhh yes perpetual stew is such a good metaphor for this that'd be a cool way to do this. unfortunately I never twitter spaces because I only tweet from desktop. but if someone got this going maybe I'd install twitter on a spare phone specifically for it. or an emulator? lol
@everytstudies sounds like probably not of interest to your kid but I bet you'd enjoy this post with its detailed investigation of wtf the celestial categories were doing such that we got here, pluto-wise metarationality.com/remodeling
@embryosophy exaptation go brrr
if you don't learn to channel your misfortune into positive outcomes for you, someone else will
@aleksil79 from G K Chesterton's essay The Free Family > It may be said that this institution of the home is the one anarchist institution. That is to say, it is older than law, and stands outside the State. By its nature it is refreshed or corrupted by indefinable forces of custom or…
Replying to @CaitPsych
@CaitPsych impossible to answer as asked because the preference for masculinity is innate but the conventions are learned
hmm would be cool to do a podcast episode sharing my Mating Dances framework hey @tasshinfogleman what about an episode on Reach Truth? Mating Dances is like NNTD+Romance
Thread · Being loved well as attachment healing · 1 of 7 tweets
important clarification: (she's so fucking good at loving. me in particular, but also it's mad skills)
@greg_trimboli iykyk—I feel really different, really whole. the self-doubt you're describing is a deep loop, that also needs to be loved/healed.
@agentofuser that's beautiful
Thread · Being loved well as attachment healing · 3 of 7 tweets
we were talking just now about this and found it hard to articulate the moves she made ...welcoming & embracing the reality of someone else's attachment fears-etc, while sculpting the relational landscape so those fears don't get to run the show and generate tangles/oscillations
some people are interpreting this as sort of like "well now you need to find love in order to heal" and... maybe? I didn't say that was the only way to do it. what I wanted to highlight is that healing is not necessarily a prerequisite to finding love!
in other words, solid compatibility and some amount of complementary skill can mean that you don't have to have your shit together as an individual in order to become a unit that has its shit more together
first attempt: > a small amount of realized potential outcompetes a larger amount of unrealized potential, and then uses the spoils to to eventually become even larger than the unrealized ...wow that is shit haha
Thread · Being loved well as attachment healing · 1 of 7 tweets
see also: my upcoming course on how to navigate the dance of compatibility and find a robust answer to "is this a fit for life partnership?" or: how to get closer and further away as appropriate, without that spiraling into attachment oscillation panic mating.nonnaivetrust.dance
seeing "20k views" on something I tweeted yesterday is trippy, but not as trippy as seeing "2 views" on something I tweeted seconds ago who are these people!? what is their experience like?
are you also feeling a shift from dating indefinitely to "any romance that isn't on track towards fuck-yeah life partner is a distraction"? how do you phrase it? for me I started talking in terms of "courtship" and "kids in near mode"
new attempt: > in the long run, the winner will be that which is is able to reinvest small material wins into improvement, not that which dies on the way to a big win still not great, but closer to tautology... feels a bit like
@slimepriestess epic blindminds?
@aleksil79 I didn't think this through very hard... there's probably a better way to slice it
@aleksil79 hahaha yessss one of my best pieces on how we go about perceiving the hyperobject together soundcloud.com/ariintheair/be…
@ProfApoth ah man yes yes yes. so with you re collective stuff the main beef I have with existing religions is that (except for their mystic branches) they tend to undermine peoples' sense of I Can Tell For Myself malcolmocean.com/2023/11/i-can-…
@ProfApoth like that's the first post in a 9-part sequence, the 8th of which talks specifically about how even if you restore that sense of ICTFM, it doesn't naturally allow people to sync up with each other, which is what you're getting at! malcolmocean.com/2024/01/merely…
@ProfApoth super curious what your specific ideas are here my wife & I have been prototyping an experimental church that has a lineage drawing on Christianity but is its own new thing, not beholden to old dogmas, traditions, assumptions, and would love your take on how to approach it
@UnderwaterBepis based. love it.
@hush_whisperer fuck yeah. beautifully put.
hey guys I found a simple madlibs for writing a tweet-sized manifesto seriously there are a bunch of great takes in the replies. write your own!
@hush_whisperer huh, oddly specific. idk if I've seen that take seems to me freedom and consequences are inseparable
@vlct0rs_tw1tter seems to be the phase that a bunch of my friends are in to the point where I've had so many conversations about it that I have a bunch of insights & heuristics and now I'm planning to run a course to share them: mating.nonnaivetrust.dance/?tw=phrase0
@enzikaofash neat! and (as someone who knows your timeline in quite a bit of detail) I'd be curious to know like what month+year that shift kicked in (& did it involve a shift in your rship with poly?)
@JimmyRis aha, yeah! this is very related to Gall's Law:
the solution that gets used will get iteratively improved until it is the best solution, even if it wasn't best at the start!
@visakanv current best paraphrase of this into an evolutionary tautology:
the best solution will turn out to have evolved from the solution that got used and therefore iterated on (altho QWERTY keyboards would like a word)
@vlct0rs_tw1tter huh, I feel like I have that both with my wife and with my closest male friend. obviously different—the nature of the bonding is very different, but everything you said holds and I have the sense I could have it with more people (sort of what I'm aiming for with my church)
@JimmyRis yeah. with the original example (GoPro vs that other camera whose name I don't even remember lol) there isn't such an obvious format trap plus "QWERTY" isn't an entity that collects dollars and reinvests them
I guess there is something specific about businesses here, not just solutions
@enzikaofash I'm sure I knew at the time but in retrospect I'd forgotten how recently you'd gotten divorced, at the time when we met! wild. I imagine your first marriage was based on a totally different conception of bonding
Replying to @thom_ivy_1
@thom_ivy_1 > The framing remains individualistic, to want, to “commit without settling” two thoughts here (before reading the rest): - before I commit, I am an individual. then I am transformed - if I don't satisfy the individual, then my commitment will be based on some sort of coercion
Thread · Selling out a first course cohort, seat by seat · 1 of 7 tweets
4 sold, 26/30 to go! and another couple people who have expressed interest very excited about this. I'm hoping to sell out but even if there are very few people I expect it to be hugely worthwhile as I'll learn a ton
@thom_ivy_1 reading the rest of that tweet... I'm very into sacred covenants but it seems to me that the era we're in is one of a profound renegotiation of the historical obligations of the parts (people) to the wholes (groups, cultures, gods), which have been gaslighting us
sacrifice and service are usually coercion, unless given freely from a being who feels spacious and sovereign regardless you wanna serve? become ungaslightable first, then we can talk.
Replying to @thom_ivy_1
@thom_ivy_1 I tried doing transcendent relating without satisfying 1 & 2 enough and that's how I got a godawful mess of a first marriage it seems to me that
Replying to @thom_ivy_1
@thom_ivy_1 @MontanosoTX @ndrewhitchcock holy shit, ncie
Replying to @thom_ivy_1
@thom_ivy_1 having offered my critiques, I wanna add that this is a pretty great framework overall
it's tempting to assume that this also translates to being unclear about the longer-term goal (re what goes down in the Levant). my guess is that in some cases protesters are also pretty unclear there too, in some cases no
Retweeted @aleksil79
@Malcolm_Ocean @nosilverv @OrphicCapital @Morphenius @slimepriestess @itsjaneflowers @MattPirkowski @RichDecibels there are…
@aleksil79 @nosilverv @OrphicCapital @Morphenius @slimepriestess @itsjaneflowers @MattPirkowski @RichDecibels us trying to figure out true good & beautiful at our new levels of complexity
@VividVoid_ thanks! I feel a sense of doing the lord's work here for sure
@mattgoldenberg @viemccoy right, self-evidently powerful from inside but what do current we-space practices/groups have the real power to do that would be a meaningful show of capability to the outside?
> most people's right hemispheres are some flavor of extremely traumatized about the whole 'breakdown of the collective precontact groupmind' thing. huhhh. cc @Morphenius
@RichDecibels @Jairo_YamoT I think this is one of the more impressive guys but way less mic'd. still impressive but now it's close to what I can do unmic'd* rather than godlike. *(I'm a pretty damn good beatboxer skillswise, tho have spent almost no time optimizing mics etc) youtube.com/watch?v=LGwyoG…
@postpostpostr I didn't; person I replied to was a different person with a her photo as avi
Replying to @jonas_hellman
@jonas_hellman huh, I think I'm getting a loose sense of how you're viewing things here. it sounds like... you identify with the left hemisphere? ("Worrying about what you “care” about, is none of your business.") and then your job is to just follow the orders of the RH?
Retweeted @a_fellow_of
one big divide is between people who ask of an action, “am I entitled to do this?” and people who ask “will this get me wh…
@a_fellow_of unfortunately, people in the first end up feeling stuck, because they often don't feel entitled to navigate any other way this can be investigated tho. who grants such rights? if you ask me, I'll say you're entitled to navigate by what you want. 1 caveat:
@lightxvision at 14 I switched schools to a place where the only person I knew was my best friend who also came I'd been in a box in my old small-town school where everybody had known me. sorta just let it out. was shocked to discover during a compliments game that people saw me as FUNNY!
@enzikaofash oh god, pass on my condolences if there's a good moment for it 😔 (I just sent him an unrelated message about a book earlier today - obviously that can wait!)
@enzikaofash @LeahLibresco @selentelechia this is gonna be such a huge skill challenge for me when I become a dad haha. so verbose-by-default
@enzikaofash yeah that kinda matches my sense. totally different sense of priority, and desire for stability of a relational kind. I know a couple whose kid just went to college and they're exploring poly for the first time and it seems to work well there too.
I don't know what you mean by your question. I sense we're talking past each other a bit. eg I'm not sure what this is responding to "Hard to do that other than within one special relationship." maybe something about the shift from "dating indefinitely" which has less speciality?
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF I feel like a lot of it is built out of practice taking individual peoples' perspectives in this case I didn't even realize I was taking the psychofauna's perspective until I noticed that the view I was imagining in the people was uhh... mechanical/memetic, not embodied/aware
@SaraBollman mmm, reminds me of this (tweet ends with this, since twitter truncates QTs now) > high state PLUS integrated awareness that others are in very low states and that that actually matters and is not just an illusion or whatever
@SaraBollman which then reminds me of Opening the Heart of Compassion. not sure if it's the book for you right now but you WERE just tweeting looking for dharma books so maybe it's ripe!
man DALL-E rn is such an intermittent reinforcement system. I keep feeling like any moment now a variation of prompt or a random seed is going to produce the image I want. I keep getting ones that are ALMOST it but also clearly not what an artist would make if given this:
@forthrighter @chercher_ai it's also an incredible opportunity for people, families, groups, to meet and deepen bonds
@the_wilderless > much of me seems to feel it’s gauche huh, why? seems like you could investigate this, and either it would have a point or it would relent (I would also ask: gauche to whom? and how would they know?)
@alex_with_ease @myceliummage mmmm say more? (either of you)
@parafactual this is my favorite kind of meditating. my general approach is: 1. is there anything I easefully feel like doing? do that 2. if not, listen for any sense of something I feel like doing, then follow it
@parafactual @alexislearning has thoughts (seems account no longer exists but this post is good) alexislearning.substack.com/p/consensus-is…
@algekalipso since everything is a remix, the more music we create the more we can refine our tastes to find new intersections and mashups that make sense to us in a way that wouldn't have even been intelligible decades ago I already feel this happening with some tracks I listen to now
Thread · Noticing mechanical moves and unintended meanings in conflict
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF like that noticing the mechanicalness? it's very new, based on this stuff 👇
@HephaistosF anyway, let me recall... I was sort of referring to everybody initially, then I was orienting to one particular reply... and looking at like, the structural interface of the distrust something I learned as part of the NNTD insight was to notice how unintended meanings matter
@HephaistosF so like, if in someone else's frame the move that I'm making lands as a gaslighting call-out, then even if I didn't intend that, then that's still a level of interpretation I created and it has an effect and I need to own the effect otherwise I'm kind of blind
@HephaistosF so anyway, I was trying to see the worldview that could have even generated "justified" and paricularly "gaslighting" in that context, since mine wouldn't've and I felt a sense of like, the kind of speech act that I did, from that perspective... and the necessary response to it
but the whole thing was very, yeah, as I said, mechanical, like it was kind of like "oh, they made this move, so the countermove is that move", not actually a felt sense of even quite engaging with something on the level of meaning/awareness/intent/care
@HephaistosF I think this also partially had to do with the fact that the people who were replying to me weren't OP, so it's like... what were they defending? some larger territory, on behalf of something.
@enzikaofash @LeahLibresco @selentelechia I'm really looking forward to it
@enzikaofash amazing, even a spanish translation
Retweeted @submandave
@ShoelessAncap There is no moral difference between making a black kid feel ashamed because of the color of his skin and ma…
> “power corrupts” is actually shorthand for “power corrupts your world model” power corrupts the ability of the mind to interface sanely with other minds
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF hmmm, multi-level perspective-taking. hang on, processing.
@HephaistosF I'm not really noticing a structural difference. I mostly notice some sense that your... aura is kind of thin or something, like when I imagine being you taking a psychofauna's perspective, it ends up getting to fuck with your innards in a way that doesn't seem to happen for me
@HephaistosF the next token on my end spits us out here, which led to some relatively interesting places:
(I'm once again heading to bed but would at some point be down to pick up where we left off there, which was here) (I asked it figuring the answer was yes / what you answered, to be clear. the point was to help generate a sense of plausibility for an imaginal scene that could help untangle some stuff)
@aleksil79 @HephaistosF huh yeah that's super interesting. it does say some interesting shit about any gods to whom these dynamics would apply, which would probably include some memetic forces
@aleksil79 @HephaistosF but yeah, I would figure the God that sees out of all the eyes and hears out of all the ears does not have this issue; its issue is how to make sense of it all
@ProfApoth deriving is/ought together for our collective sense of life
@ProfApoth huh, this prompted me to look up the original quote from Marx, and it's pretty interesting!
@ProfApoth oh man if you like unifying game theory and religion you'll LOVE this video. one of the coolest things I watched last year, and very much informing what I'm creating
Retweeted @ProfApoth
Actually this is a defining characteristic of life: alive things have "oughts", non-alive things just "are".
What information would be really easy for you to access now, hard or impossible for you to access in the future, and potentially quite valuable to you in the future?
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 1 of 17 tweets
pair-bonding prospect 🤔
Are you ready to commit to your future spouse... but still a bit uncertain about how you'll know if someone's the right person to commit to? That's exactly what my Mating Dance course next month is on: how to listen to yourself & know it for sure mating.nonnaivetrust.dance/?tw=commit
huh. it was right there the whole time: "mating dance partner"
@mattgoldenberg nice! I have converted your phrase into more marketing 🤑 I'll also probably use the phrase "full-body-yes" at some point!
@RichDecibels doing my part! (golden age of husbands is a long game venture 👑)
Thread · Looking for a word for partners who are courting, not dating indefinitely · 1 of 17 tweets
wait hahahahaha this whole time I've been going on about mating dances and didn't notice that this sort of defines exactly the term I was looking for
@RichDecibels breathe words to life that speak to the underlying structures
obvious metaphor design at the very center of the whole thing both: 💃🕺 DANCE in general (which gives "graceful" "steps") 🦚🕊️ MATING DANCES (which gets people in touch with courtship as a thing animals do)
@aphercotropist omg amazing
@RichDecibels the word "mate" is itself good anglish (as is "life mate") which also makes it feel more rooted
@RichDecibels and then a bunch of talking with people about this in person and seeing them resonate deeply when I use certain phrases
@RichDecibels and then a ton of workshopping it with @Morphenius, without which indeed you probably wouldn't be saying what you're saying (unless you would also apply it to the "Who's it for?" section at the top, which I mostly wrote myself)
the people who play the long game shall inherit the earth
Thread · Selling out a first course cohort, seat by seat · 1 of 7 tweets
8 sold, 22/30 to go! more than 25% of the way there it's been 2 days since I launched the course, 9 til it happens. I think I can sell out 💪
@jasoncbenn you don't want to be star-crossed lovers!
@aleksil79 bahaha my sense is it's two different origins of the term? not sure. etymonline doesn't really opine on the subject but it looks like the negative connotation one is much older, which surprised me!
@aleksil79 as for whether I would ever sell out in the other sense, I'll quote Green Day bassist Mike Dirnt: "I do what I do best. Selling out is compromising your musical intention and I don't even know how to do that."
Retweeted @RichDecibels
shy is a verb! think of a horse wandering into a bramble patch. cringe is a verb! flinch, duck, tense, retract, collapse,…
Replying to @selentelechia
@selentelechia omfg so good I hadn't even realized I was always wondering what cats are thinking when they chase it and thanks to her verbalizations now I kinda feel like I know
if you like this format and want to see the one for my Non-Naive Trust Dance, you're in luck:
Thread · Reading list on evolution of consciousness, religion, and living wholes
EvConch links I'm sending @reverician after our epic convo today after Experimental Church about transindividuation, religion, living wholes high-level overview by me of what I think is going on with the evolution of consciousness (EvConch)
The Snake Cult of Consciousness: Genesis, myths, the origin of self-reference and thereby self-hood
Preconquest Consciousness: anthropology as an epistemological problem epistemology as an anthropological problem
Planetary scale vibe collapse: The death of liminal consciousness as the origin of human suffering riffs on Preconquest Consciousness and duality+ego as part of the same memeplex
on a different arc, here's @utotranslucence's short story reconciling parts of her relationship with christianity and the joys and pains it carries in her lineage autotranslucence.wordpress.com/2023/12/07/the…
Stuart Kauffman's Reinventing the Sacred has a beautiful take on the sacredness of the cosmos as being in its inexhaustible irreducible unpredictable creativity no need for Creator, universe itself is creative book: amzn.to/3xQZLkm
a more agentic flavour of what might be meant by an omnibenevolent most-powerful-though-not all-powerful agent we might well call God the biggest living whole? this is usually what I pray to in the context of wanting to serve and be cared for by God
the concept of exaptation, which I first heard of in Stuart Kauffman's book, is closely connected with one of the most astonishingly beautiful shapes/forces I have ever perceived. here's me evoking it: (talks of differentiation+integration too) youtube.com/watch?v=Ub4_kr…
Original Spin is a meta-meme from me & @Morphenius that encourages shifting the sense of self to a more grounded place. wanna share this in church; relates to Jesus/salvation (click through for video; check desc for a good starting point halfway through)
.......okay that should do for now. oh wait one more! we read an excerpt from this as the Memetics Reading at the first church service in march. it's... importantly confused (haven't written up my critique yet) but was a KEY development in my thinking
oh also since we went as deep as we did here's a thread of mine at the edge of my thinking on a bunch of these topics, from last summer: (these insights are still close to my edge on some axes tbh, and beyond-edge / not fully integrated on others)
Join me for some focused virtual coworking? I'm currently coding but soon I'll be writing. What do you want to create today? intend.do/room/feral
Retweeted @aleksil79
@Malcolm_Ocean sudden sense common knowledge touches on what makes an agent an agent, as opposed to just a collection of par…
@eshear a couple days ago I finally replied to a twitter convo we opened up in March:
Retweeted @RichDecibels
FYI the culture war is over. only zombies left fighting. playing field is wide open for new narratives
@christineist nice! we can get a whole pipeline going eg for people who are looking for a life partner, I'm helping with the next part of the process—navigating the question of "is this a fit?"—over here 💃👇
@TylerAlterman Understand and Nexus are a terrifying mashup also those grandmas are great
@YeshuaGod22 @algekalipso you might dig this article about nonduality and culture smoothbrains.net/posts/2022-08-…
@felps_bra @algekalipso I find the implication of having an AI agent who knows everything about me but I don't know what it knows very aversive I wouldn't trust such things not to get hacked by all sorts of scams
Replying to @HephaistosF
@HephaistosF @christineist yep, totally part of it some people elope ofc for that reason, and part of their dance would probably be about willingness to elope sometimes this probably works well, kinda us-against-the-world style. definitely an added stressor
@mathematicsprof hoo boy I bet you'll like this rant
@RichDecibels I'm increasingly bullish about playful wholesome competition: people/cities/countries seeing who can envision and realize the best future, and seeing who can get their shit together first where "best future" has omniwin vibes but not compromise vibes
Replying to @IkkyusDen
@IkkyusDen @oleifrking social media is part of the real world if you're looking to be found by someone who lives nearby, you may want to change your strategy somewhat, but it's not separate
@datenwolf @Gingerneer2 @N_Schmid genuinely curious—what would be the motive of pro-fossil fuel propaganda to promote nuclear power? or is the idea that attacking environmentalists (who opposed nuclear power) is something that only an anti-environmentalist would do, therefore is pro-fossil fuels?
Retweeted @Malcolm_Ocean
Have you done enough “dating indefinitely” and want to get real about courting? Join The Mating Dance: graceful courts…
short ~thread replying to @RichDecibels who asked "how did you get the words so good?" upon reading the landing page for my Mating Dances course:
huh, the course is officially called The Mating Dance but I've noticed multiple times I want to refer to it as Mating Dances and I'm suspecting that's better it highlights the plurality of it—how ours are different from each others' (not to mention birds)
Thread · Falling in love as a common knowledge cascade · 1 of 14 tweets
my marketing hat wants me to leave this thread with just the call to action above but my nerdposter wants to link you to this trippy exploration of wtf common knowledge even is, and he seems to be winning send tweet
Thread · Being loved well as attachment healing · 1 of 7 tweets
put another way:
Thread · Songs illustrating courtship done well and done confused
I'm collecting songs to illustrate courtship done well and courtship done confused whatcha got? or post songs and I'll judge 'em 😜 a playlist I'm calling Mating Dances & Missteps. and apparently an increasingly verbose thread about each song. open.spotify.com/playlist/6qTSF…
perhaps all-time most epic example of a courtship misstep is Paradise by the Dashboard Lights where he's desperate to "go all the way tonight" and she demands first he tell her he'll "make her so happy for the rest of her life" result is… predictable 🤦♀️ it really highlights how it's not actually a win to get someone to commit to you unless they WANT to be committed to you. sane courtship is not just about getting clear that you're all in, it's also about not accepting commitment from someone who you don't trust is all-in. if your partner leaves, or loves half-assedly... maybe you didn't do adequate due diligence.
"I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz vid: youtu.be/O1-4u9W-bns another misstep, in my books. I wrote a thread about this song as a bit of a contradiction/confusion—it seems the reason it needed writing was an overwhelming need to give up [on a particular relationship]. bro maybe…
a soft reflective song on falling in love. feels good to me. I sense this relationship is either gonna be lifelong or gracefully and grief-fully say goodbye. not divorce. 🎶 "Maybe this time, it could be love" uncertainty 💖 watch this lovely live perf: youtube.com/watch?v=gnoeE7…
another falling-in-love that involved a conversation going surprisingly long—this time the whole song is about specifically that: One More Hour the way it mutually escalates, despite the opportunity to ease off—overall healthy! very early stages ofc. youtube.com/watch?v=OmUKCJ…
okay, Heart To Break by Kim Petras is interesting. the verses show classic self-conflict — not a good sign One look at you, I'm powerless I feel my body saying yes Where's my self control? Ah but the chorus... 🎶 Even if it means that I'll never put myself back together Gonna give you my heart to break ...is glorious surrender to the possibility of unfathomable heartbreak, which is something that some relationships lack, either because people are desperate to make them work and denying the possibility of heartbreak, or because the relationship is mediocre and it could end without being devastating (if this is you, might as well leave now unless it's already just a temporary thing until your internship ends and you go home). I listened to this on repeat in the first weeks I was courting my now-wife, and it helped me really open up and reminded me that if I was all-in and she wasn't then that would be crushing, which made the whole thing and its gravity more real. (esoteric note: as long as death is still a thing, all intimate relationships are heading for profound loss sooner or later)
This next song—never officially released—I rocked out to as a banger many times before I realized that its lyrics express a really clear expression of clarity about leaving a dysfunctional relationship. The lyrics weren't transcribed anywhere I could find, so I wrote them out as best I could: 🎶 Simplified part of you Complicated side of you Been down this road before Holding on to what was lost I don't see a reason why We should leave all we have behind Your tests seem so fake Your intentions are so opaque What's it gonna be? What we gonna do? Don't wanna lose my mind I'd rather lose you When will we admit defeat? That this just isn't real [?] we've been on to autumn leaves That turn to dust as we speak Fueled by the happy past [?] and swear it off so fast [?] this heartspell is a ghost Cuz who we are just did not last What's it gonna be? What we gonna do? Don't wanna lose my mind I'd rather lose you I don't wanna lose you I'm gonna lose you I'd rather lose you The final lines express both conflict and resolution. I don't want to lose you, but—given that I'll go crazy if I stay, I would rather lose you. Brilliant. He hasn't quite let go, but he's obviously about to.
It's not on spotify (yet?!) but this song I wrote about my 2022 breakup is an embodiment of a particular arc of mating dance sanity: recognizing when "trying to make it work" isn't working, and doing something else. I wrote it hoping, in part, that it would help other people notice they're in a dead-end situation and do something about it rather than sticking around forever 🎶 with the sense that something better is waiting ever just around the bend so it never seems like the moment to end ...well maybe there's not gonna be a right moment
this is why if you find me at a thrift store I'll always be in the ladies' section. men's section is like 4 different cuts (& all the Ts are all Team-Building Exercise 1999) ladies', almost everything has a distinct shape/drape. only a fraction look good on men but that's fine!
@anonynaut now do accredited investor status for the student loans some are saying we should forgive
Retweeted @EdwardVersaii
say it with me: we want haptic feedback. we want tactile switches and dials. we dont want stupid touch screens that glit…
@ScarletAstrorum My timeline with @utotranslucence: 5y of being close friends, mostly different cities but regular phone calls. ...1 visit we noticed that we had chemistry ❤️🔥 1.5mo of in-person courtship over 4.5mo was enough for me to propose. Marriage was 1y later for family travel reasons.
@ScarletAstrorum @utotranslucence The years of friendship meant we'd already done all the basic vetting on so many different levels and knew from the get-go that we were on basically the same page about both practical and metaphysical dimensions of marriage. So there were just a few remaining fit questions!
@ScarletAstrorum @utotranslucence We were clear from the outset that we were both looking for a person to marry and imminently have kids with, and both on the same page about not wanting to waste time if it wasn't going to work. But also not to rush things. I feel like we struck a really good balance!
@visakanv My impression is that it's inherent in the power dynamics that show up almost-inevitably when the attempt to teach someone how to be in touch with their own self-trust gets its feedback loop routed through an external authority. As I've written up here: malcolmocean.com/2024/01/guru-d…
@eshear reminds me of my idea for a tool that limits your own follower count to keep the vibes good
@eshear part of why twitter's open network graph vibe is good is that instead of dense community shapes with all-or-nothing moderators, you end up with looser scenes that also contain not just unlinked edges but anti-links in the form of people blocking each other!
@ScarletAstrorum Totally! Part of why I tweeted about wanting different terms for mating dance partners / marriage track relationships, was to help illuminate this distinction and make it harder for people to hide in ambiguity 😶🌫️
@Devin_J_Monahan @ScarletAstrorum Carrot more key than stick, especially if you want happy marriages not just marriages-at-all. Seeing role models who are excitedly getting married and enjoying dadhood in a similar manner to oneself is key for making it feel like a real and attractive option.
Retweeted @ScarletAstrorum
Women have the responsibility to prevent forever-gf-itis If you’re a woman and you want marriage & kids, bring that up…
To anyone reading this (guy or gal) who feels excited to get clear on doing marriage-track relationships only, and you want more help getting in touch with your own sense of what your courtship process & timeline want to look like: I'm about to run a course on exactly that! 4 weeks in May, exploring different aspects of how to sense your yes, your no, and to navigate maybes into resolving. It's also about how to sense where your partner is at and help them resolve their uncertainties. Check it out here 👇💃❤️🔥
@ScarletAstrorum (also I'd love to hear what people make of the idea and the landing page! especially @ScarletAstrorum who has clearly thought a lot about this stuff, but also anybody reading this.)
@ScarletAstrorum most of the people who've signed up so far are men, also! so don't lose hope—the guys are out there looking for you!
@YeshuaGod22 @algekalipso want another? vectorsofmind.com/p/the-snake-cu…
@Morphenius TDS 😉
@jasoncbenn elegant. "intention to marry" feels implied but a little flirtatiously left unsaid
@RichDecibels @utotranslucence marriage that the test suite is still running on ✅✅✅✅🔄⬜️⬜️ 4/7 checks complete
@sbwielinga yeah weird sun twitter's history echoes in the background but also very much had a "you had to be there vibes"
Did you Weird Sun Twitter?
@julianboolean_ yeah makes sense!
@alex_with_ease @myceliummage what an absurd apology! I got what I asked for and then some this is really cool thanks for sharing
@natural_hazard yeah this is pretty good. I've definitely been in groups that navigate this smoothly vs not and it's absolutely related to being in a wespace/embodied sync (whether self-awarely or not)
@natural_hazard there's also a question of like, can the group manage to make a collective decision while acknowledging that it's not ideal for one member, while still having that member participate because on net that's what they want (but they don't want to have to pretend to not have dissent)
@mattgoldenberg @viemccoy nearly impossible because even most in person we-spaces are mostly fake because they don't have enough life to them (ie not enough actual shared skin-in-the-game) but I agree, that would be dope. worth thinking about. this part of twitter kinda already feeling into it
@MJPiercello @paul__is__here 1 & 2 can both be solved by recording some live demos. what's the bottleneck on doing that?
Thread · How a leader's blindspots become the group's blindspots · 1 of 8 tweets
oh man I have no idea how I didn't link this earlier part of what's crazy about this is that your subconscious/unconscious aims are willing to make certain kinds of move that you aren't. so it can outmanouver you
@positive_loop Emmett's thread has more thoughts than I do (he also knows a lot more about having power) I've thought a bit about blindspots tho— you might like this thread of mine about how your unconscious wields your social power and does so in ways you wouldn't
@sleuthingfox oooh interesting. I think I get it but can you elaborate?
@iamapostol oh cool! I'd love to hear more about how the article helped :) (even if it just helped put words to something that was already happening—a lot of what I'm doing is trying to name the underlying dynamics by which it all already happens)
Retweeted @phallusoraptors
feels like kind of a shift from boyhood to manhood
@gptbrooke we met in person at the first vibecamp, didn't interact that much that I recall iirc we went for a walk up Corona Heights in SF, like either June 2022 or Nov 2022... talked about community and culture or something
Retweeted @pragueyerrr
yes my openness and warmth and stringent belief that people are inherently good will inevitably lead to my kindness being…
Replying to @vivekt17
@vivekt17 I totally vibe with this you might dig this story—the power of music npr.org/2017/08/20/544…
Replying to @vivekt17
@vivekt17 @askekjaer so what sort of receptacle are you looking for? what ideas are you wanting to channel? and what's keeping your from finding them?
@vivekt17 @askekjaer I'm pretty keen to do some events where people pair up and write each other an essay; DM me if you wanna be involved in that (could also just be a duo in the first place)
I often use LLMs to look up obscure quotes I can't get verbatim and this was the first time I found myself wanting to do that for something I know I've written in at least one of my own blog posts and maybe a tweet
@aphercotropist epic, nice you would say that "removal of self" - is that the phrase? I keep forgetting
@aphercotropist I was expecting more "checked it out since" than "observed it at the time", yeah
want to get off twitter and do something creative or strategic? click below & join me! I just took a bunch of caffeine ☕️💊 & am gonna be writing in this coworking room for the next few hours! 🍅⏲️ pomodoros for focus then checking in with each other: intend.do/room/feral
also lmk if you want to be added to a DM group exclusively for announcing coworking times!
I might make one on discord too tho it looks like DM groups are limited in size so it would have to be a whole server? terrible. hm. could repurpose the barn-raising server...
btw most of the people who've signed up for my Mating Dances course so far are men so to any ladies feeling like there aren't any guys out there who want long-term relationships... there are! but maybe they're having trouble figuring out their commitment process
language tends to find its way to the edge of intelligibility because being able to ride the edge of what your listener can understand is a sign of attunement and it's playful to say things that just barely make sense instead of always needing to pineapple
@JoachimBrackx this tweet also proves that part of what draws people to "literally" is that it makes things more vivid because it prompts you to imagine it literally happening and then there's some countersignalling where the listener can TELL you don't mean "literally"
Thread · What the Mating Dance course deliberately doesn't cover
Things I'm not going to cover in my Mating Dance course: ✅🪜 what the key steps of courtship are; what to do/not do before getting married 💄💪 specifically what you can do to attract men/women/etc 🐇🐢 what’s too fast or too slow as a timeline 👋☕ how to meet people
✅🪜 what the key steps of courtship are we're not following a recipe. you and your mating dance partner are tasting the food and improvising til it feels right (or a dead-end). I might say "bland? consider adding salt" the key steps are whatever you—and they—need to feel sure!
💄💪 specifically what you can do to attract men/women/etc you’re not looking to attract half the population, you’re looking to find an exquisite fit with one person. but we can talk about "how to know when 'changing for someone' is wholesome or self-betraying"
🐇🐢 what’s too fast or too slow as a timeline each relationship is different, for psychological & logistical reasons instead of “too fast”, notice the feeling of either of you feeling “not enough” for the other = a sign you’ve ramped up expectations beyond your trust level
👋☕ how to meet people key Q but outside my expertise! I will say: stay away from contexts that discourage being honest about looking for a life partner (this includes many dating apps)
reply with any questions you have about falling in love and I'll share my thoughts! to sign up for the course (or learn more about what the course DOES cover & who it's for) go here: mating.nonnaivetrust.dance/?tw=not
a thread on things we won't cover in the course some of them because the question itself is confused—I'll share how I think about it instead that I think works better.
@JimmyRis that would be fun! want to host a lil gathering for it? I imagine it could be easy to walk a bunch of people through it in parallel
@AbstractFairy yeah part of the challenge with all of this is that there's a bunch of object-level skill to most of these things in a way maybe a good test would be somehow coaching a team that's already competitive but doesn't get top, to see if I can WE them to victory
@metaLulie what would you call people who are indefinitely dating? or what would you imagine they call themselves? if you hear "this is my boyfriend, we've been together 4 years", does that feel wrong/confused?
@aphercotropist and just saying "withdrawal"? also does that come from heidegger or is it your coinage?
Retweeted @__drewface
Bootcamp update: I picked up the keys to the campus last week. Come co-work with me (really, I mean it, the place is empty…
Retweeted @jessicamalonso
What are some instances either on here, on a podcast, or on video where two relatively self-assured tpot folks substant…
@frideswyth yeah, seems to me to be usually cope, including in people who do actually have impressive spiritual communities around them
@frideswyth waking up is always waking up to a situation. works better if you can make the situation feel safe to wake up to
Retweeted @frideswyth
I don’t think anyone has to help anyone else “wake up” faster. That train gathered steam a long time ago. Also … isn’t it…
Replying to @IkkyusDen
@IkkyusDen probably not what you're looking for but I've found it helpful to orient to the wisdom of the realms
@IkkyusDen if you can get the wisdom without getting the stuck, you may get unstuck
you don't want to "become more attractive", you want to become more attractive to the sorts of men/women who you would love to be with and who would be attracted to the you that you would want to become knowing that it would make you more attractive to them
@RichDecibels what are some of the new narratives you're enjoying seeing show up?
@RichDecibels I would add "and people appreciate those who take them on" or something
@mattgoldenberg huh! this tweet excites me, and I'm wondering how I would rephrase it in light of this:
to loosen your sense of things, find MANY meanings for one originating memory to hone a new sense, find MANY memories for one meaning
@mattgoldenberg riffing on this "sense of things" alternative...
@mattgoldenberg here's what I've come up with:
I want more music jams in SF
@RichDecibels facial futon
Replying to @_Donny_Dude
@_Donny_Dude the key is to find a woman whose concept of better man really feels like the kind of man you want to be
@ElodesNL “the real trauma happened earlier - when you first knew that you were alone”
whoa, huh > if you don't seek power you retain the ability to seek unpolluted truth. (Scott below is Scott Alexander / slatestarcodex / astralcodexten)
@yashkaf dovetails nicely with this (and @eshear who I'm quoting)
Are you hesitating because of some generic fear of commitment or because there’s something you can sense isn’t a fit?
Retweeted @Malcolm_Ocean
Things I'm not going to cover in my Mating Dance course: ✅🪜 what the key steps of courtship are; what to do/not do befor…
Thread · Why the divorce rate says little about your marriage · 1 of 4 tweets
"The divorce rate is—" The divorce rate is irrelevant. Marriages aren't a mass-produced product that just randomly breaks down half the time. They're all homemade.
@psychocarto totally. I would definitely not speak affirmatively about a marriage somebody else made without verifying it myself first
@forthrighter @eshear a philosopher who makes their money from a wealthy patron and/or a substack and who has both immediate and long-term impact via their writing seems pretty damn good goals ngl
a friend of mine says this is isomorphic to what the theravadans call second path an insight about how insight works so you can get out of your own way
@kevinsimler oh sweet! looking forward to finally meeting you in person (I don't think we've yet met, unless I'm forgetting)
